King and lionheart Bellarke love story
by PollyRoberts66
Summary: Bellamy and Clarke are one of the hundred sent down to earth. They both dislike each other but through out the times they spend together they realize how they are in love with each other. But when Clarke gets kidnapped by a grounder and a plague hits the camp- with they still love each other. Find out in King and Lion heart!
1. Chapter 1

I'm in a beautiful green field. I hear birds singing and badgers sniffling. That sound alone makes me dreamy. Tall trees sway in the powerful sunshine, I have to hide my face from the sun so it doesn't blind me. I tip toe along the grass and my white gown flows behind me. I close my eyes and let nature guide me. I still can't believe we're down here, on earth. The actual ground. This place makes a never ending labyrinth of an ark a tiny hamsters cage. I mean I can see for what seems like miles and miles. Earth makes me feel free, joyful and just happy. You can see amazing creatures: blue butterflies, fast deer, long fish and peaceful birds. You can feel the fresh breeze in your face. The pollinated scent of the colorful flowers dance up my nostrils. Everything was so perfect. Earth was so perfect. Everything I imagined it to be. Everything I want it to be.

I wake up suddenly, sweat dripping from my forehead. It was just a dream. Just a dream. Earth isn't this wonderful place where animals sing and there is peace everywhere. Earth is hell. People kill each other, animals are deformed. Last week I saw a deer with two heads, one of them was cut open. If that's normal then I don't know what is. The birds don't sing peaceful songs, they scream so loudly it bursts your ear drums. Earth was not the place I wanted to be. Earth was not what I imagined it to be. Earth is not perfect. Everything is NOT perfect. It's not just that, we found other people that live on this earth too. That survived the bomb attack almost 300 years ago. We call them Grounders. And they are the worst if it. They attack us every so often, I saw with my very own eyes Jasper being speared. The grounders are everywhere, watching us from high above of low on the ground. None of us are safe, no of us know. All except me.

We've been on earth for about 4 months, and we have already had a suicide, too many to count kills and murders. And a attempted murder. The fights people have are for no bloody reason. Just because people are free from the arks rules, doesn't mean they're free from earths. Bellamy and I we make the rules, lots of people have been disagreeing with them. Like Murphy to start with, in the end after Charlotte's suicide we exiled him from camp. So I have no idea where he could be.

I get my jacket on and exit my tent. Where I see Finn and Raven snuggling up together. I hated that. Finn and I had just slept together but then when Raven fly's in she smooches with Finn. They happen to be dating and Finn didn't tell me that. I am furious, devastated but most of all, I'm ashamed. How could I be so stupid?

"It's so obvious." I hear a sarky voice from behind me. Bellamy.

"What is Bellamy?" I turn, sarcastically smiling back at him.

"That you had sex with Finn and now he's with Raven and you're furious, devastated but most of all -" He starts.

But I whisper with him "ashamed." Bellamy giggles, I bet he was tempted to say jinx on me for that. But it was just so weird hearing him say that. Like he knows what I'm thinking, if he did that would be sweet yet creepy. I lower my head in embarrassment, my cheeks turning bright red.

"Is it really that obvious?" I ask sadly.

"I guess, but so what if it is. I've slept with so many girls already who I don't really care about. It's just what guys do, it's nothing personal princess." He jokes, well I hope he's joking.

I kind of feel attracted to him for saying that, even though I should be furious as he is being really sexist at the moment. But all I do is smile and ask a personal question. "Have you ever actually cared for a someone? Loved someone?"

"What?" Bellamy laughs trying to ignore the question. "Are you serious?" He says putting on his shirt and about to leave.

"Yes, I'm serious." I stop him leaving and he turns to me.

"That's none of your business, Princess." He spits, the way he splats princess makes a cold shiver tingle down my spin.

"You asked about my personal love life!" I state angrily.

"No. You were showing it to everyone yourself." Bellamy replies.

"What do you mean, 'showing it to everyone yourself''?" I shout back.

"Your face Clarke, it's basically a video of it." Bellamy smirks and leaves me there hanging.

I think to myself 'what a womanizer'. I snort quietly and look around the camp, people have been coughing a lot lately and being sick. Maybe there is a virus coming in? If there is, we need to be prepared. Well prepared.


	2. Chapter 2

As I sit up a pain exhilarates in my whole body. Like a whiplash. I don't know what it is but I feel as if I'm being stabbed. I walk from my tent to find Bellamy. But it looks as hie is busy bossing people around. I run up to him to ask what's going on.

"The grounders are coming, and once they come they will kill every single one of us." Bellamy states.

"So what are you making everyone do?" I ask again irritated by his pathetic answer.

"We're building a wall, a tall wall to protect us."

A wall? Doesn't he know a wall isn't going to protect us? What about the people who are out hunting. "Bellamy, what about the people hunting, our people? We can't just shut the gate." I say.

"Well it's tuff luck to them isn't it." He laughs.

"Bellamy, our friends are out there. Finn-" I start.

"Wait Finn. Isn't that good. Since you hate him and all." He interrupts.

"I may hate him but that doesn't mean he should die, killing people doesn't solve the problem." I step closer to Bellamy to intimidate him.

"It does is they are irritating, like you at the moment." Bellamy steps closer to me, intimidating me. If I liked him it would be the exact distance for kissing him. I can taste his breath on my face. I can smell that he is annoyed but also caring deep down. As if he doesn't want to hurt me.

"Well what about Raven." I step back from his daring glance.

"Not my problem."

"Octavia, she's out there, but if you were a good brother then you would no that already." I cross my arms not caring that I might of taken it too far.

Bellamy stops what he is doing and stares directly at me. "My sister is in her tent sleeping." His voice rises.

"No! She's not in her tent. I share a tent with her and she hasn't been in it all night." I say my voice lowering with worry.

"Mine and my sisters relationship has nothing to do with you." Bellamy basically shouts.

"It is when Octavia, who is my friend, cries herself to sleep every night. All because of her ass of a brother." I scream back.

Bellamy ignores me and turns to the crowd of watchers. "Stop the wall! Clarke and I are going to collect some other camp mates who have gone out side the barriers. But when we get back this will have to be finished before night fall!" He turns back to me. "You better be right princess." He pushes past me and I follow him outside the camp barriers.

We keep walking through the forest but it doesn't seem to lead anywhere.

"Where could they be?" Bellamy asks nature.

"I know I'm not the person you're asking but I think I have an idea."

I walk past Bellamy and I walk towards the place I'm going. The place where I don't know if I want to be right. I look behind me to see Bellamy following me. I stop for a second as the pain strikes again, as I groan Bellamy stares at me.

"Are you okay?" He asks holding my waist. I know he's trying to help but it actually makes it worst.

"Yep." I lie, why should I bother telling him the truth, all he's going to do is laugh at me.

"Clarke." He stops me before I move again. And he lifts up my top so he can see my back. I know I should mind him doing this, but I don't? I'm just glad he's concerned. "Jesus Clarke. You have a enormous bruise on your back, how did this happen?"

To be honest I don't know how it happened. But I really want to know. "Could you stop." I say pulling down my shirt.

"I'm just trying to help. Stop being such a princess." He smirks. "So where is this place?"

"It's the place where Finn takes all his one nighters." I laugh and my foot hits the entrance. "In here."

I show Bellamy he can go first and he does, when he enters he instantly whistles. "Well, well, well, look what we have here?"

After I climbed down the steps I look to see naked Finn and Raven hotting it up, in the exact spot that me and Finn did it the other night. I feel like I'm going to be sick, how could he do this. "Where is Octavia?" Bellamy shouts sternly.

Finn and Raven both look at them blankly. "Don't make me ask again- WHERE IS OCTAVIA?" He shouts.

"We don't know." Finn replies quietly.

"Get some clothes on whore." He chucks Raven her clothes and Raven is not impressed. I laughs behind my frown and Bellamy looks back impressed with himself. We may have our differences but he can always help. "You too jack-ass." That's when me and Bellamy climb out into the breeze. "Where is Octavia?" He asks me quieter respecting that I might be a little upset at what we just saw.

"I don't know Bellamy, I'm sorry." I reply softly. "But we can find her." I say walking off. Bellamy walks in the opposite direction on our hunt for his sister. This all reminds me of when you're looking for your lost cat. Called their names to get their attention. But they wouldn't reply. Just like Octavia is doing- not replying. I'm starting to worry, if we loose her I can't imagine what state Bellamy will be in. It would kill him, Octavia is the only girl he might ever love.

"Please! Help!" I hear. Octavia. I follow where her voice is leading too. My pace speeds up when I hear her screaming now. I shout for Bellamy but he isn't answering.

I find her.

Tied up to a tree. "Clarke?" She asks gasping for air.

I run up to her an untie the knots, she falls to the ground and groans escape from her mouth. "Octavia, what happened?"

But she doesn't answer me. She just looks straight beyond me, as if I'm not even there. "B.B.B. .BE...HI..ND..YOU..!" She whispers. Then she screams. That's when I feel the cloth covering my mouth and someone pulling me back.

"Octavia!" I hear, Bellamy is coming in the distance. My eyes start to close as I'm being pulled away. Octavia is screaming. I hear my name being called but I don't know who it is. Octavia is still screaming. But it starts to become distance.

Whoever this was they had Octavia.

What ever they are they are strong.

Where they are- they have me.


	3. Chapter 3

"Please! Please!" My screaming becomes a whimper, I'm talking to the darkness as that's all I see. "Please." I loose my breath I start crying and crying. Different thoughts are racing through my head making me feel dizzy. I pull my my arms to feel them tied back by an enormous chain rubbing against my fragile skin. "PLEASE!" I take all my energy to scream- hoping for someone to hear me. No - praying for someone to hear me. It's then when I realize I'm not on the ground, I'm just hanging. My muscles stretched. I close my eyes, which doesn't make a difference, and just scream and shake my whole body. Trying to loosen the chains - but nothing. I suddenly feel breath on my face, I am dreading to open my eyes. But my eyelids are stubborn and they pull themselves open. Where my eyes meet with another pair of eyes. Deep, dark brown eyes. Hints of yellow in the pupils. Just starring. I feel my breath passing and my tummy churning. Screams rise up in my throat but get stuck half way. I can't breath, it feels as if a spiky rope wraps tightly around my neck- clogging it up. I breath.  
"Why are you doing this?" I ask sternly, not releasing from his stare.

But he doesn't answer, I repeat my self louder. "Why are you doing this?!"

He still on't answer. "You don't understand me." I state moving looking around his face and seeing pierces and tattoos. Whoever he was, what ever he was - he was tough. That's when he grabs my arms and yanks it, I scream in pain. My arm feels like it's out of it's socket. But the chain has come off the wall. I was confused. Why was he doing this? That's when he pulls even harder at my other arm. I grit my teeth to keep my screams locked up. But my arms were free. I could move them again. Never the less as soon as that happy, free feeling feels I drop. BANG! Onto the solid grounder, it sends a buzz of pain through my feet. I have my moment of release until I become well aware. I could see all around, my eyes had adjusted to the darkness well enough I could stake out shapes and shadows. The grounder was still there. I pause from moving and just stare at him, the grounder, I could make a break for it but that he could catch up with me. It would be a game of cat and mouse and we all know how the game ends. I could fight back but I'm too worn out, I can't barely move. I just feel paralyzed to the spot. But I know I have to break free. So I play and I make a break for it. I run. I run past him, I did it! But I don't stop, I can't stop. He was after me, this was cat and mouse and I think I know how it's going to end. I'm hoping for Bellamy to come looking for me, ready to save me. I'm still running, running far and far. Luckily, I see the light, the light at the end of the tunnel. It's only a speak of a light but it's still a light. I speed up, as far as my limp legs can take me. I hear voices, voices that I recognize.

"Bellamy! Bellamy!" I scream and my paste quickens.

"She's in here!" Someone states.

They know I'm here! I run even faster. "Somebody!" I shout louder. I've reached the light, but the only thing blocking me and humanity. Are three steal bars. I push my hands through and I feel them being touched the other end.

"Clarke?" I hear. That's when I see Bellamy. His face so perfect. I think to myself in that exact moment that I might like Bellamy. Maybe it's the reassurance of seeing his face that persuades me or the fact that I actually like him. "Don't worry princess, we'll get you out."

"Get the lighters!" I hear someone call.

"What?..What?" I ask Bellamy worryingly.

"Don't worry, we're going to blow the bars. So stay back." Bellamy replies.

At first I'm confused, I can't go back. He will get me again. If I go back I might get changed up again. I don't know what to do.

But I know something. I should of listened to Bellamy. But it was too late, I see the flash.

***  
I'm in a meadow, a peaceful meadow. The sky is a light blue with a hint of ocean blue sneaking in the foreground. I'm in a beautiful white gown and my hair is brushed and silky. I could sense the happiness from every corner. There aren't any grounders, Murphy's or mutant creatures. There is just me.

It was perfect.

But the only thing to make it better, is if I'm with him. The person I love. But I do see him. Standing over by the other side of the meadow. His hair is a dark chocolate brown, his skin tan and strong. His smile so warm and welcoming. He starts running and he calls my name. I run towards him and I know we're going to meet in the center of the meadow. And we do. I embrace his warmth. I close my eyes and I breath in his neck. This is the man I'm in love with. This is the man. I know he's on earth somewhere, I know he is. I just need to look at his face. I release from his warmth and a shiver goes down my spin. And that's when I see him.

The man in the meadow.

The man I am in love with.

That man is Bellamy.

Bellamy Blake.


	4. Chapter 4

"She's such an idiot." I hear someone state angrily.

I start waking up and I suddenly sit up and look around. "Who is?" I ask pulling my legs over the bed.

"You." Bellamy comes in and sits next to me and hands me a glass of water. "For not running back when I told you too."

I start becoming tense, I really don't want to be so close to Bellamy. Especially after my dream of the meadow. "Well, you didn't give me enough time."

"Really?You're going to say that." He smirks.

"And I suppose I have to say, thanks for blowing me up? I don't think so." I say back sarcastically.

"No I guess not, but you can say thanks for saving me." Bellamy suggests.

"Thank you." I say starring at him and he's starring back. None of us are moving, we're just starring. I try to remove from his gaze but I can't. His look is so strong. And it makes me feel weak. I feel like we would never break this bond, never let it go. But then someone else walks in.

"Clarke and Bellamy, you should come and see this." And the bond is broken just with the words, the annoying words of Finn.

I look away from Bellamy first and get up and follow Finn outside. "What?"

And Finn doesn't have to reply, as right there in the center of camp. Is somebody. Screaming and shrieking, stomping and stamping, crying and weeping. She looks in so much pain, no, more like agony. Bellamy runs out of the tent and runs to the girl. Until Finn steps in.

"NO! Don't go near here."

"Why not?" Bellamy and I say simultaneously, I hold back my laughter.

"We think it's a disease." He answers. "Just look at her."

And we all do turn towards the crying girl. But she's not crying tears, she's crying blood. Red blood trickles from her dark chocolaty eyes. White foam starts dripping from her mouth, We hold back our terror and Bellamy steps back. He steps in front of me to somehow protect me of some sort. It's so sweet but I can't think about it now. A girl is dying. A poor innocent girl, but there's nothing we can do about it. Nothing at all. Then her whole body starts to shake, like she's having a panic attack in her brain. Everyone is basically running back, too scared to face her.

Her and her pain.

"Somebody needs to end this pain for her!" A random boy on the left screams.

"Who will do it?" I ask Bellamy, gripping my hand to his upper arm. "Anyone but Bellamy." I whisper hoping he didn't here that. It was actually suppost to be an inside thought.

"Finn, Finn, Finn, Finn, Finn, Finn, Finn." Everyone starts chanting. Bellamy looks at me and I look back at him. Finn grabs the gun and shoots the girl, with out a hint of feeling. I gasp and look away and so does Bellamy.

"What's happening?" I ask Bellamy.

"I don't know. But something is up. This disease will spread and we need to be prepared." Bellamy states.

Bellamy turns around and walks off. "I'm scared." I grab his arm.

"Don't be, I'm here for you." He pats my shoulder and gives me an embrace. Which warms me.


	5. Chapter 5

***Two years ago on the ark***

"Come one Clarke, stop being, what ever it is you're being." Wells states. He was trying to get my to go to some stupid party. But honestly, I wasn't in the mood. Like that would stop Wells.

"A teenage girl who hates fun. That's what you think isn't it." I reply jokingly. I lightly push Wells and he pretends to be badly hurt.

"Please go, please! If you don't go I will die on the spot." That's when he closes his eyes and stops breathing.

I look around hoping no one is watching, otherwise that would just be weird. I don't want to go to this stupid party but I also don't want Wells to kill himself on the spot. Decisions, decisions. "Fine, I'll go to this stupid party, but you have to get me a mask." I gave in.

But Wells doesn't wake up, so this is when worry takes over. What if I took too long to decide. I know not to cry - as I'm not the crying type- but I don't know what to do. All I do is lightly kick Wells in the side.

He doesn't wake up.

I kick again.

No movement.

Again.

Nothing.

And again.

"Really? You kicked me four times." Wells wakes up laughing.

"Jesus Wells, you scared the crap out of me." I kick him again for real this time. Hoping to leave a bruise on his right shoulder.

***  
"You ready?" Wells asks me in a very orange mask attached to his head.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I smile as Wells gives me my purple mask covering my scared eyes. I wasn't a party girl.

Together we walk for what seems like forever, I don't know why but goose bumps appear all over my trembling body. What was I so afraid of? It's not like I'm going to meet the love of my life at this party. Or that we will have an emergency check from ark security. Hopefully anyway. As we turn the final corner we see the entrance. Music bounces to my ear drums and we aren't even there yet. I already see tones and tones of Ark security. Which makes me extremely nervous. This is suicidal. I walk past the first guard, the second guard and I feel I'm being watched with every step I take. But after a while, I start feeling less and less nervous. I release myself from Wells's grip and walk alone. I turn around and walk backwards as I realized I've never been in this part of the Ark before. It was enormous, it made me feel like an ant. I like that feeling. This was going to be an amazing evening, I knew it. Because of my best friend Wells I was here. Not alone in my room doodling like a loner. Actually getting into the crowd. Being part of the Ark, not some loser who just uses it as an advantage. I keep walking, not looking where I'm going. Mesmerized by every single thing. Every single thing.

That's when I hit something, more like someone.

"Careful where you're going." The person, who sounds like a man, laughed.

I turn and look down, embarrassed. "Sorry." I state softly.

That's when I look up, I look up to see who I'm talking too. And I'm just gob smacked at him. His smile so indulging, so perfect. His eyes so daring yet caring. That's when I see the badge, the badge clarifying that he is a training security guard for the Ark. And my vision falls apart. But I'm still staring at him, and he's still staring back at me. We smile at each other and hold our gaze. I feel like there is a bond between us after only saying five words. Does he feel the same way about me? I've never done this with any of my past boyfriends, neither did I want too. I want this. Because it actually feels like something special.

"Bell, come one we needed to get to the party." A girl with a dark blue masks steps in. Maybe his girlfriend?They can't be brother and sister so I escape the gaze and just fake smile and walk into the party. I guess he didn't feel the same way. That sucks.

"What happened out there Clarke, you were gone for like half an hour. I was getting worried about you." Wells pulls me into a corner, very seriously.

"Nothing, let's just party okay, I want to feel free!" I giggle hug Wells and walk into the party. Where in the corner of my eye I see the same training guard starring at me and smiling. I don't know how that made me feel but I think I like it. I know how to play this game, play hard to get, hard to get.

***

We keep partying for what seems like hours and hours. Me and Wells are so into it, showing off our moves to each other. Which was a little embarrassing as I know he's watching. I start becoming really, really tired. Dancing is hard work. I stop and rest for a few minuets when the guard walks up to me again.

"I'm Bellamy." He says sitting down next to me.

"Clarke." I reply smiling. I know I shouldn't but I have to ask him about that girl. "Is that girl, your girlfriend?"

He suddenly turns tense as if he's embarrassed or he thinks I'm just being nosy. "No, just a friend. What about the guy with you?"

"Oh Wells? He's my best friend. The reason I'm at this party in the first place." I point to him dancing crazily.

"I'm glad he persuaded you." Bellamy tells me.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because I wouldn't of met you if he didn't" He flirts, I can't help but smile. He was being such a gentleman.

Suddenly the music stops and an alarm sounds. "Everybody take off your masks and get your ID's out." This loud beaming voice booms in the speakers. That's when Bellamy just runs off, I feel a dagger of hurt in my heart but I guess he is a guard that's on duty. Wells grabs my arm and yanks me to him. He takes off his mask and I take off mine.

"Everything is okay Clarke." He smiles charmingly.

"I'm not scared." I state.

I stand close to Wells when I hear screaming coming from the other end of the party. Bellamy is there with the same girl. She's being taken somewhere. What did she do? Bellamy is crying out to her but other guards take her away. He tries to break through the other guards to get to her but he gets stopped. A tear drops from his face as he calls the name Octavia.

***

I'm in my room again, so frightened from the party. But I can't stop thinking about Bellamy, his faces appears everywhere I look. I know it might be selfish but the two things I feared most happened at the party. We had a random search.

And I think I might of met the love of my life.


	6. Chapter 6

"How do you think we're going to stop it?" I ask Bellamy.

"I don't think we can." He tells me.

"This is so screwed up!" I say putting my head in my hands.

"Clarke. We will get through this." Bellamy reassures me. He takes my hand from my head and places it in his hands. Already warmth fills my body. Bellamy touching me was heaven, my own personal heaven.

"How many?"

"5." He release my hand and picks up a stone. "Five people have died already." With that he throws the stone as far as he can in anger. He stand sup and crouches in sadness. He puts his head in his hands to hide his tears. "How the heck did this happen?"

I'm not sure if the question is rhetorical or not. But if it isn't, I still wouldn't know how to answer. So I just try to change the subject as best as I can. "Whatever happens, we still have each other." I say disarmingly, it's meant to sound friendly but I made it sound romantic. In my head I'm cursing.

"Well, what if it gets us, then what happens?" He replies sternly.

"Bellamy." I say trying to break his hands grip with his head. Finally it loosens. "Bellamy!" Now he staring into my eyes, but it doesn't make me feel weak, it makes me feel stronger. "Wait till that happens." Then I fling my arms around him and we just stay there, in a friendly yet romantic way. "Wait till that happens." I whisper.

That's when I cough, not just one but a proper hacking. I break from Bellamy's grip but I can't stop coughing. My throat fills like it's invested with millions of mites. It feels as if an enormous python is wrapped tightly around my neck, ready to swallow my body. I turn from Bellamy, my hand covering my mouth. I take a second to look at my hand which is smothered in red, oozy blood.

"Clarke are you okay?" Bellamy comes round to me and asks.

I hold back my coughing with a huge gulp and nod. Then I just get up and run back to my tent. Covering my mouth as I go. I just left Bellamy stunned to the spot. Pausing half way, it feels as if I'm crying so I see in the reflection of the glass that my eyes are bleeding. My eyes. I hear Bellamy coming after me, but I just ignore him and quickly wipe the blood from my eyes. I try to act as normal as I can.

"Bellamy I'm fine, I've stopped coughing." I state snarly.

"Are you sure?" He places his hand on my arm and I just nod as clearly as I can. Praying and praying for my eyes to not bleed again. Bellamy lifts off his arm and nods before turning away and walking some place else. I breath out heavily, a sign of relief, and I sprint to my tent. As quickly as I can, I don't look back. As I go in I look for something to wipe my face. Then a small, dirty rag appears form the corner. I grab it and wipe as efficiently as I can. I'm whispering please. But I don't know if that will help, as I think I've got the plague.


	7. Chapter 7

My vision is blurry, I hover my hand over my eyes and it looks like I have three of them. My fingers move slowly, then rewind themselves straight again. As I look around everything seems to be going round and round in circles. It makes my eyes go into my head with dizziness. The sound of my name spits in my ears. I try to block it out but I don't think I can. I feel alone and isolated. I look up to the ceiling to see bright, yellow stars- beautiful. Breathing out, I quickly take in the amazing sight. Looking around a strong fire seems to be burning, it makes a large smile spread across my face. Then this huge gust of wind makes shivers tingle my whole body, it's not chilly, it's freezing. The weather makes my teeth chatter. Meanwhile, I feel something connecting with my hand, a warm something. I faintly look to my left to see what seems to be a bunch of Bellamy's. Sitting in a row holding my hand. I think to myself what a weird hallucination. If this is even hallucination.

"Bellamy?" I whisper, not expecting anyone to answer.

"Clarke." He replies. My whole body is shaking at the feeling of him with me. If he even is with me. My eyes flutter like butterfly wings. Random colors appear. I keep looking up and breathing in my own peaceful way. So lovely, so beautiful. After a while the starry night just becomes a boring, grey ceiling. The ceiling of the drop ship. I don't trust my whole body at the moment. Not my ears, not my touch, not my nose and definitely not my eyes. The body that belongs to me is so weak yet so restless. I can't seem to be comfortable or even close my eyes for more then five minuets. I hate it. I hate it so much. It seems as if hours have gone bye, since I heard my name being said. If it even was said. I'm really not sure.

** Bellamy**  
Finn, Octavia, Jasper and me are patrolling around in the woods, looking for the cure. Octavia predicts that Lincoln has it, but I have a gut feeling that she's wrong. Really really wrong. Everyone is walking in silence, I don't blame them though. There isn't much to talk about when the people you love are dying and it's up to you to find the cure to make them better. The sun is setting soon, so after we find this cure we're going to take shelter for the night. Even though there might not be time to rest. Jasper had the plague quite bad, luckily it cleared enough for him to walk with us. Finn hasn't caught it yet, something in my body wants him to get the plague and die. But I know that I really shouldn't be saying that. He means something to Clarke, praying for him to die, well that wouldn't be fair to her. Luckily, Octavia and I are immune to the plague, somehow, which means we can help as much as we want. But don't have to worry about getting to close to someone ill. Though it's quite painful watching all of your friends and followers like that. Blood from their eyes and white foam dripping from their mouths. Even the thought of it makes my stomach sting. This silence is starting to dig away at me so I decide to break it.

"How far now Octavia?" I ask steeping before Finn and Jasper, making them bring up the rear.

"Not long Bell." She replies not looking back to say it to my face, Octavia just keeps going on. I just stare at her trampling on the earth, not caring about anything but finding the cure. The determination in her is something I really love about her. If you look really close at her you can see a small crinkle in her forehead whenever she's annoyed or determined. Octavia has always had that. Always, always, always. A big log is coming up and I'm about to warn Octavia when she trips on it. But luckily I grab her before Octavia hits the ground. Once she gains her balance she shakes me off and continues, not caring that I just helped her before she could of hit her head. As she walks she stops and points to this odd looking under ground shack.

"There." Her face so plain and stern.

Then we all follow willingly. Once we reach the shack, with one strong kick Octavia kicks it down. I try not to smile, as it's not the right time, but I do it anyway. I think about clapping as well but that would just be sad. Once the door is down she stomps in and we all follow. I glance over my shoulder to see that Finn is looking about the ground before he climbs in. Checking for grounders I guess. This underground shack seems to be like a ever ending labyrinth, I'm surprised Octavia knows her way around. Cobwebs hang delicately from the walls, the sound of scattering rats echos in every corridor.

"Lincoln acted like he knew what I was saying about a cure. So I guess he might know." Octavia suggests.

"How do you know so much about this grounder?" Jasper comes in and asks curiously.

"Because he kidnapped me for twelve hours, before Clarke rescued me and got kidnapped. So I hung with him for a bit. Mostly talking to myself as he couldn't understand English. But I got enough out of him, that I needed anyway." She replies.

When she mentions Clarke I can't help myself but force a smile on my face, then a frown when I remember what she's going through. We finish the long corridor, then we are at a dead end. Just a tight room where we found Octavia. Chains hanging from the wall, blood across the floors and wall. The names Lincoln and Octavia written across the all in red. I'm guessing that's how they figured out names.

"I thought you said it would be here." Finn states unimpressed.

"I thought it was here, but maybe it's hidden. Just everybody knock at the walls to see if it's hidden behind them." Octavia shouts making Finn step back scarcely.

Then we are all at it, knocking and banging ourselves into the walls. Hoping for it to budge. But nothing. Nothing yet. Finn's face starts turning red and he looks really, really pissed. He just throws the nearest rock he can find into the wall not caring where it landed. But to everyone's surprise it hits the wall which starts moving. A weak smile starts spreading across his face, he was trying to hide. Trying to show his false modesty. Everyone starts smirking and they all rush to the hole. Right in the left corner is a bottle. Jasper clambers his hand in and collects the bottle. Everyone is looking at the orange liquid inside.

"There is about 500ml in this bottle." Finn snatches the bottle from Jasper's hand and glares at it menacingly.

"So." Octavia says aghast by Finn.

"There is about 90 dying people in camp." Finn interjects.

"Who all need the cure." I state blankly, not wanting to know what Finn is about to predict.

"What are you saying?" Jasper's smile turns, quickly, into a worried frown.

"There's not enough cure for everyone?" Octavia tells us, her face looks speechless.

"Exactly."


	8. Chapter 8

**Clarke**

My vision isn't blurry anymore, I can actually see. A thrill of happiness explodes in my when I walk around without having a menacing pain in my whole body. The news around camp is that Bellamy, Finn, Jasper and Octavia went to look for a cure, a cure to help us all. Sadly, they aren't back yet. I fear for Bellamy, what if he doesn't come back? I have to heave that thought out of my mind, I wouldn't be able to cope if that happens. But he is fierce and strong. If he gets hurt we can fix him, I know we can. But we would need to contact the Ark. Raven has given up on the radio, she doesn't believe in herself to fix it. But I think she has to try but annoyingly she won't listen. Why won't she listen? Everyone believes that the sparks we flew to the ark didn't get through to them. Basically everyone has lost hope, lost hope that we possibly need.

As I stride out of the drop ship I stumble on a hard rock, I fear that I'm about to fall and smash my head in. But someone has gripped my arm. A firm grip, I breath out with relief. Someone saved me. And I think I know who it is.

"Careful princess, you're sick." Bellamy chuckles once he has me balancing. "How are you?"

"Better." I smile. "So the cure?" I ask innocently, not expecting for Bellamy's face to turn serious. He grabs my arm and pulls me into a tent where Finn, Jasper and Octavia lay waiting. Jasper is pacing which makes nerves run up my spine. On the broken down table in the center of the tent is a small bottle of orange liquid. "Is that the cure?" I ask picking up the bottle. "Is there enough for everyone?"

"That's what we wanted to talk about." Bellamy offers a seat for my but I sternly refuse, how can I sit when no one is telling me anything. But my body is weak so I sit anyway.

Finn steps next to me he crouches down to my height and takes my hand. I try to disconnect with him but his hand grip is strong. I could sense Bellamy's anger and jealously from across the room. He doesn't have anything to jealous about. Me and Finn, we aren't going out neither are me and Bellamy.

"There isn't enough cure for everyone." He whispers slowly.

I don't say anything, my face does though. I feel like I'm about to cry, but I can't help myself. This can't be happening. Why didn't we expect this? Of course there isn't enough cure, obviously there isn't! I roughly pull my hand across my hair in a stressful way. My head is now in my hands. God, I hated this. No one says anything for about five minuets. I know we can't sit in silence for ever, so I decide to break away, I decide to start talking.

"I don't want any." I break the silence with standing up and crossing my arms.

"What?" Bellamy asks, he thinks I'm joking but I'm not.

"I would rather die, die, then let all the followers die. Because of my selfish choice." I state.

"You're being ridiculous." Finn tries to laugh but when he realizes I'm being serious he stops laughing and a frown appears on his face.

"No, I'm not!" I storm out of the tent so pissed with everyone in there.

"Clarke." I hear Bellamy's voice coming after me. I turn as he walks closer to me. "Please, take the cure, I want you to be safe."

I'm stunned by what he says, that he actually cares. "I'm sorry Bellamy. I've made me choice." I state and just stumble away- leaving him behind. But then he comes closer and grabs my arm.

"Leaders do what they think is right." He tells me, worry in his eyes.

"I am." Bellamy's grip leaves my arm and his face is full of so much disappointment. To be honest, I really wanted that cure, but everyone else needs to have it before me.

***  
I'm in the drop ship, talking with Bellamy. Who seems less frustrated with me and my decisions. A few minuets ago I had another big hit of the plague. I was vomiting blood and my eyes were crying blood. I was so scared, so frightened of what might of happened. What could of happened?

"Would you like a drink?" Bellamy asks me, a smile on his face.

"Yes please." I reply.

So Bellamy gets up and leaves the drop ship. For what seems like a long time, but I'm not really sure of many things at the moment. After a while he eventually ventures back.

"Thanks." I smile and take a huge gulp of the water and finish it. "Sorry."

He just laughs.

"Bellamy, do you remember when we first met?" I ask curiously.

"Yep, on the Ark, two years ago." He states.

I'm shocked he remembers. "You remember. I guess we didn't realize we met there until now."

"It was the same night they floated my mother." He chuckles, trying to hide his sadness. "How could I forget that?"

"You know I thought Octavia was your girlfriend." I laugh.

"Well, now you know why I couldn't tell you the truth." He replies. "Feeling better?"

Something about me was feeling better, but I don't know what it was. I just felt like the weight of the plague has suddenly lifted off me. "Yeah."

"That's good." He smiles.

Obviously, I get it now and I'm furious. "The cure." I stand up and basically shout at Bellamy with all the anger I have. "Why would you put the cure in my drink? You know what I wanted! You know that I wanted to wait until everyone else is better first! You're so self centered Bellamy! God, I am so, so, pissed at you!" I'm pretty sure everyone outside the drop ship can hear me shouting so cruelly at Bellamy. But then he stands up and I'm prepared for him to scream back at me. I keep blabbing on though, at how annoying this is and how angry I am. Until I feel his lips on mine.


	9. Chapter 9

**Bellamy**  
"Octavia, don't come up here." I scream at the footsteps coming into the attic of the drop ship. But it's too late, she's already there.

"What are you doing?" She asks aghast by the wall. She had a right too, we had a grounder, Lincoln, tied up by chains in the drop ship attic.

"Octavia, he kidnapped you, kidnapped Clarke and stabbed Finn." I say in my defense.

"I'm telling you this for the 100th time, he was trying to save me!" She shouts.

"Well, what about Clarke and Finn?" She was being so annoying. "Finn, he's dying down there because of that." I point to the grounder.

We've been keeping the grounder up here for a few days but haven't told anyone. With the plague and everything. Clarke, who happens to be ignoring me ever since we kissed, knows about the grounder. After we did kiss Raven came in screaming and crying. She saw Finn, a knife daggered in his chest. We didn't know who did it. But we all assumed the grounder. This grounder. Now Clarke and Raven are trying the best they can to fix him. And after that I happened to be invisible to Clarke, all she saw was Finn. They are trying to contact the Ark and they are succeeding.

"Please don't do this!" Octavia pleads standing in front of the grounder. "I won't let you hurt him."

"Get out of the way!" I say but she doesn't budge so I go close to her. "Why you being such an idiot. If you don't move Finn will die!"

"Stop blaming me for your mistakes!" She cracked. "Everything that's gone wrong is because of you!"

I look to the side and chuckle at how stupid she is. "Me?" I face her now seriously. "Mum was floated for having you. She''s dead because you're alive."

"That was her choice, I didn't have a choice!" She screams back.

"My life ended the day you were born!" I scream back, that's when I can see the hurt in her eye. I took it too far. She just fake smiles and leaves.

"I don't even think he speaks English, he won't understand you." And with that she leaves.

**Clarke**  
"What's happening?" Raven screams in my ear. The dagger was out but white foam was spitting from his mouth. It wasn't the plague but I don't know what it is.

"Is it poison?" She asks. "But it can't be, we put disinfectant on everything."

"Not everything." I say looking at the knife.

"You mean that the knife was poisoned?" Raven asks really confused.

"That's exactly what I mean." I wipe the tears from my eyes. "He has to have an antidote, he has to have one." This time I let the tears come.I rush over and make my way up to the attic. Which is locked, but I bang and shout for them to open it. Finally it opens.

"Clarke, what are you doing?" Bellamy asks me.

But I ignore him and walk straight to the grounder. "Where is the antidote?" I scream at him. But nothing. I turn around frustrated. I grab the box with four small bottles in it. "Which one is it?"

Octavia bursts in. "Please stop, Clarke you know this is wrong." She pleads to me. And I know it's wrong, everything about this is wrong. But Finn, Finn is dying. And I need to help him.

"Do it." I sternly tell Bellamy. He takes the belt and whacks it at the grounder. Again. Again. And again. I close my eyes when the belt has contact with the skin. It's brutal, so brutal.

I repeat my question about the antidote but nothing. I plead and plead for him to answer, Octavia does as well. But still- nothing.

"I guess we'll have to try something else." Bellamy suggests, taking a large metal knife and he digs it into the grounders hand. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

"Just stop!" Octavia screams and Bellamy does stop. She grabs a knife and slits her lower arm.

"Octavia." Bellamy interrupts.

"He won't let me die." She replies going to the grounder with the bottles.

"Which one is it?" She asks him holding each of them up. Slowly, the grounder starts realizing what she is doing. He nods his head to the left and once Octavia holds it up to him, he nods. There is a sigh of relief in everyone. Octavia holds it out to me.

"Thank you." I say.

"Octavia." Bellamy tries touching her shoulder but she rejects him.

"Don't touch me!" She shouts and runs out of the attic. I run after her to get the antidote to Finn.

***

Finn's awake, alive. Just about. It was Octavia who helped it but Raven and I, we rocked it together. I may still like Finn but with Raven. Raven needs Finn. Loves Finn. She deserves Finn.

I feel bad for Bellamy though, we kissed and I just ignored him. Maybe I'm not ready for someone else or maybe I am. I'm not sure. I want to be ready, I know I need to be ready. I know it.

"Clarke, I'm sorry you had to see that." Bellamy appears behind me, grounder blood on his cheek.

"It's my fault you did it, I sai-."

"It's not your fault." He interrupts.

"Have you seen Octavia? I want to apologize to her." I ask.

"No, last time I saw her she stormed out of the attic in huff." He replies. I look at him and he looks at me. And I think we're both thinking the same thing as we both sprint up to the attic.

"Oh crap." Bellamy shouts slamming his foot to the wall. I would of done the same. But I couldn't. The attic of the drop ship was empty.

The grounder and Octavia are gone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Bellamy**  
This is so screwed up. I hurt Octavia too much and now she ran away with the grounder. She's a traitor. Yet so am I, I shouldn't of said what I said. I ruined everything. Hopefully, she will forgive me. Now Clarke and I are looking for her. We split up a few miles back. Just so we could cover more area. I really hope Octavia is okay, it's my fault if she's not. It's my fault.

I would normally say that I can't be in love or that I've never felt it but I have with Clarke. I really like her, a lot. We have a spark that no one else has, we have got something special. So maybe we don't get along most of the time but deep down inside we still like each other. And I like her so much. Her hair is so beautiful, so perfect. Her smile so welcoming but her frown is so daring. Clarke's personality, is selfless, caring yet she deserves the gold medal for bravery. I don't know what to do. While I'm picturing her in my mind, she is picturing Finn. Just Finn. That's the worst part. I'm guessing it was her first time with Finn, so I guess that makes it even more special to her. Sometimes I wish Finn died on the way down to earth, like the poor other boys that did. But Clarke, she saved him and that's something else I really like about her. I just can't explain it really, when I kissed her it felt incredible, I never felt it with any other girls I kissed before. After that, I kind of backed away from Clarke, I haven't said more then three words to her while looking for Octavia. Why should I? She likes Finn. She's been nursing Finn because he was hurt, while doing that she felt a spark grow again between them. Most people would call, what I feel, jealousy. Pure jealously. But maybe I am jealous, maybe I am. Why does it matter? I like Clarke, she doesn't like me. I play that in my mind again. I like Clarke, she likes Finn, Finn likes Clarke and Raven, yet they call me the bad guy. I guess I am, it's only been a week and I've had a threesome, not my finest choices. I put Wells down to rip off his wristband. All my ideas. I'm the one they all fear because I'm such a crap leader! I shouldn't do this, Clarke and I, we need to run things together. That's everything we've got.

"Octavia!" I scream, letting out all my fury and anger. I was allowed to anyway, so why not.

**Clarke**  
I hear Bellamy's booming voice from across the woods. Where was Octavia? Again, I hear his voice, pretty angry. Why would he be angry? I'm so screwed, with everything that's going on. I like Finn so much but Raven needs him and Finn was a total jerk not telling me about her. What she said when Finn was nearly dead, 'He's the only thing I have left.' That's when the dagger pierced my heart. I do like Finn but I think about Bellamy all the time. Everywhere I go, I hear Bellamy's sweet voice, Bellamy's stern voice. Sometimes I think I'm going insane. But luckily, I'm not. Kissing Bellamy, that felt amazing but so wrong at the same time. That's why I backed away. Because once our lips met I realized I'm probably one of the girls he expects to sleep with, after one kiss. One kiss. But no, I didn't want to be that girl, I'm not that type of girl. After I left the room, I saw the hurt in Bellamy's eyes, which made me think differently. That I wasn't just that girl he wanted to sleep with. Slowly, I tried to talk to him but I felt him backing away. That's when I realized, he didn't succeed with me, so he's going to move onto another girl. Bellamy is a womanizer and I don't think he wants me pulling him back from his rightful self. He likes one nighters, not long term relationships. That's when we started drifting, I suggested separating, to find Octavia, as I thought we needed to figure out our feelings. Well I know I did. Holding him back is selfish, I can't do that. I can't push him into something he doesn't want to be in. I really like Bellamy, but on the other hand does he really like me?


	11. Chapter 11

**Clarke**  
The search is still going on and on, still no Octavia. The night is falling onto earth and it's dangerous to be out. But something inside me knows that Bellamy won't stop looking. That's something I love about him. But why do I like him so much? I just feel like I'm being pulled to him, it's a feeling I like, but I want to know why him. Who said it had to be Bellamy, Bellamy Blake? He's saved my life and he's probably going to do it again. I really do like him.

Finally, I spot Bellamy in the distance, leaning against a tree. I can see the tears marks coming from his eyes. Knowing he was crying, I go over to him. I know what I have to do. Bellamy sees me coming and turns around and wipes his face- embarrassed. But he shouldn't be.

"I can't find her." Bellamy states sternly.

"Bellamy, I know. Just listen to me." I suggest.

But he interrupts. "My sister, my responsibility."

Making my voice louder I speak again. "Listen to me."

"I said horrible things to her." He sniffles. I hate it when Bellamy is upset.

Taking his face in my hands I tell him. "Listen to me." I see the tears in his eyes and I quieten my voice. "Octavia chose to run away with Lincoln, meaning that she is happy."

"How do you know that. You don't know anything." He tells me back, I can tell he has hurt in his eyes but anger.

"Because I do. Lincoln didn't hurt her Bellamy! He helped her. But we were horrible to him, we were. So they wanted to be happy, Octavia wanted a happy ever after. Maybe she will get one with Lincoln." After that I break down as well and just embrace Bellamy. "I'm so sorry."

After the embrace we stand up and just stare at each other. For what seems like hours and hours. Nothing seems to matter in these moments because if we break the gaze we break each other. Obviously, that's worse then murder. I can't help myself but a huge smile spreads across my face. One does on Bellamy's as well. Once I do, it makes me feel better. More loose. I never felt this with Finn, I guess I felt embarrassed and awkward with him. I don't know what that's means as I've never been in love before. Sadly, I don't even know if this is love. But I want to find out. I go in and I kiss Bellamy, and the feeling. The feeling is incredible. He kisses back more passionately. His hands on my cheeks, my hands on his back. He gently pushes me to a tree and pulls of his t-shirt. I just stop and stare at his body, so muscly and strong. And then our lips connect again. Bellamy's hands go under my top and take it off. It was an amazing feeling. The touch of his bare chest against mine is so soothing, so wonderful. I can feel the wood on my back but I don't care. Bellamy's warm hands on my back, his lips kissing my neck. Then reaching my lips again. I don't know but this is so perfect. He was with me, that was so wonderful. My eyes close but they don't want to, I want to look at Bellamy's face and injure all of it. I love it so much. He's so perfect. Even the scent coming of his body was magnifying. Groans of delight escape my mouth. I can't help it but a enormous grin spreads on my face. Then I start wondering what Bellamy is feeling. Does he like this as much as I do? I hear rustling in the bushes but I didn't care, if anyone came Bellamy would protect me. He wouldn't let anyone hurt a hair on my head. Pushing my lips against Bellamy's is something I've wanted to do forever. It was so wonderful. So lovable. His touch is so welcoming, the warmness of Bellamy's body flows into mine. I link my arms around his neck. I take quick and sharp breaths and so does Bellamy. I can tell he's smiling like me. His hands move down my body as I jump up and grip my legs around his waist. All the weight has lifted off in these moments. These beautiful moments. Bellamy's lips go with mine and half way through he just laughs and it makes me laugh. Once he stops he kisses my forehead. Then he takes me from the tree and lies my smoothly onto the ground. He goes onto of me. And for those few seconds we makes our gaze again and I never realized his eyes were so dark and moving. Bellamy leans in and kisses me again. Gripping my hands on his back. My mouth open ready for anything. Bellamy's eyes stay open and he looks at me with so much love and meaning. But I lean up and kiss him and he smirks and kisses me back. This was so wonderful. So beautiful. So incredible. I never want it to end.


	12. Chapter 12

**Clarke**  
I'm lying with Bellamy naked on the forest ground. His arm around me and I'm snuggling up to his warm chest. So lovely. His faint snoring, my head goes up and down with his breathing. With my finger I trace his abs. His jaw-line so strong. His cheeks so cute. His lips so sweet. His Adam's apple so stern. I love it. Placing my hand on his cheek, leaning in I take a small peck of a kiss from his lips. Once I've done that I turn over and try to sleep. Annoyingly, I've got such an adrenaline rush from last night I can't seem to rest. Even though last night was so tiring that I should be able too. I take deep breaths. I turn around again and again. Trying to get comfortable.

"Someone's a little restless." A closed eyed Bellamy jokes.

I look at him and laugh, playfully pushing him on the shoulder. "Someone shouldn't ruin the moment."

He opens his eyes and lays onto of me. "Princess, as much as I want to stay here with you forever. We should get back to camp."

"Let's go." I lean up and quickly peck his lips. And then we both get up and get dressed. As quickly as we can and it's not awkward between us because we like each other.

Bellamy holds out his hand to me. "Ready?" He asks.

I nod and take his hand and we walk together. Hand in hand. We stroll across the forest to camp.

"So you really think Octavia's happy?" He says his grip tightening.

Honestly, I really don't know. I want to think Octavia is happy. And something inside of me tells me she is. She deserves happiness, freedom since she's been kept under the floor boards for her whole life. "Yeah, I really do think so." I smile up at him and he smiles back. "I wonder what everyone is doing back at camp?" I joke.

"Probably worrying about us." He laughs back. "If I''m truthful I thought you liked Finn."

I'm struck by this- Finn? "Bellamy, he was a total a-hole to me and maybe I did like him but that's before I knew about Raven. So-."

"So unless I want to end up on your a-hole list I shouldn't become one." He smiles and pulls me towards him and kisses the side of my head.

"Well actually you're already on it." I confessed. We both laugh. "And Bellamy Blake, I thought you were a womanizer."

"Me? I guess I was until I started falling for you." He flirts.

I just smile and kiss him and then we are faced with the camp walls. My grip tightens around Bellamy's hand.

"We're here." I state.

Then I feel my hand being rejected, Bellamy's hand has ditched mine and entered his pocket.

"Are you okay?" I ask my eyebrows cocked.

"Perfect." He lies straight through his teeth.

"Then why don't you want to hold my hand?" I tell him.

"I do." He's replies taking my hand and kissing it.

Then we enter together, everyone is staring at us and gasps are heard all around the camp. Finn takes one look and his whole face goes white.

Then this random guy comes up and stands in our way. "So are you to like and item now?" He laughs.

Immediately, Bellamy release me hand. "We're not an item." He face so stern and rigid.

Not an item, then I start to feel sick. My head feels dizzy and unstable. How could he do this? What an a-hole. Does he not like me or something? I bet he didn't mean anything he said. I turn away and wipe away my tears, I stop myself from running away crying. But I can't the tears just come.

"Clarke." Bellamy has grabs onto my arm but I don't turn to face him.

"Not an item huh!" I spit.

"Hey, I didn't think-." He starts.

"I cared about last night? Well let me tell you something Bellamy." I put an emphasis on the B and rip off Bellamy's grip. "I did care! But I now know you sure as hell didn't!" My tears are coming now and I feel like my whole face is blowing up with anger and sadness.

"I did care! And you didn't let me finish. I was going to say I didn't thin-."

"You're such a jerk Bellamy." I laugh. I about to exit the camp but he steps in my way. "You're just like Finn." My voice dying inside my mouth

"Where are you going Clarke?" He asks stern yet concerned.

"As far away from you as possible." I state and I push past him and leave camp. Praying for them not to follow me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Clarke**  
God, I was so stupid! Why was I such an idiot? My head was right, Bellamy's a womanizer, instead I followed my heart and it lead my to heartbreak- again. Crying is all I have left to do, exiting camp was one of the worst ideas I've ever had. They're grounders here. This is just like a death wish. I'm such a mess! Kicking the biggest rock I can find doesn't help at all. All it gives me is a swollen toe and more screams of pain and hurt. Not looking back I know how far I am from camp, the sun has set pretty quickly. Blackness is everywhere, I hold my hand in front of my face to guide me but I can't even see it. Cracks and snaps of twigs makes me jump. I'm turning around as I walk to see if anyone is following me. Freezing on the spot the sound of more twigs snapping makes my heart stop. Efficiently, I grip my hand to my mouth to make my little breathing as silent as possible. Erupts of cries try to escape my mouth but I try to hold them in. Who could be out here? A grounder? Someone from camp? Murphy? The hairs on the back of my neck tingle as I hear the breathing off someone else. Closing my eyes, I fall onto a tree. Slowly, my back slides down it and just like that I give up. Useless. Powerless. Tears and moans are set free for everyone to hear. I'm so lost and confused with everything. Then I feel the presence of someone else sitting next to  
me.

"The brave princess is scared, what a sight." The voice in the darkness chuckles.

Instantly, I'm paralyzed, Instantly, I feel dead. I think to myself. 'I have become of death.' Because I know who this person is. Someone so dangerous, someone who has tried to kill me before and has many reasons to still do it. We're in a dark forest and I don't think Bellamy's coming to save me now. Maybe not ever. My throat clenches as I try to say the name. The name that has so many troublesome links to it. I can't help it but I'm terrified. "Murphy."

**Bellamy**  
"We are not shutting those gates until Clarke is here safe and sound!" I shout at some boy tying to close the gates while the sun has set.

"What if she never comes back. She might even be dead already." He replies.

And I feel like I've lost it. When I stride right over to him and take him down face on. After the clash my clenched knuckles sting. That's when I realize - I've lost it. "These gates stay open until Clarke's back got it?"

The dreaded silence tells me that they've got it. I know I've really screwed up with Clarke. If only she would of let me speak we wouldn't be in this position. No, I shouldn't blame Clarke it's my fault. She wanted me and I thought differently. I thought she didn't want everyone to think of her as a weakling. They would of if I said we were an item. Protecting her was what I was trying to do.

I stomp past everyone, including the horrendous stares. Guilt is a pain.

"You know you really hurt her." Finn snarks from behind me.

I turn around and I stop myself from emptying his gums of teeth. I cock my head to the side and try to laugh. "That's funny because I didn't sleep with her. Then sleep with another girl the next night." I exclaimed.

"You would of." Finn takes more steps towards me. I try to hide my guilt and worry for Clarke with my bravery. "If anything happens to her out there. We all know who's fault it is. And if something does you didn't just screw stuff up with Clarke. You screwed up with everyone else!"

My voice rages. "I know I screwed up with Clarke!" I rub my eyes to get rid of the tears. My voice lowers. "And god almighty I am an idiot to do so."

"We can't just let her be there alone." Finn tells me.

"Obviously, we won't."

"What are we gonna do?" He asks stupidly.

A hint of triumph fills me body. "I'm gonna save her."


	14. Chapter 14

**Clarke**  
As soon as his name slips from my mouth, the feeling of vomit approaches my throat. Why was he here? I need to leave, run off. I can't be near him because of the danger he brings. Quickly, I stuff my hands in my pocket to stop them trembling.

"What are you doing here?" I ask straightening me back, making myself seem stronger.

"Ever since you exiled me, I wonder the woods all day and night." His voice so straight and scary. Murphy places his hand on my back and I instantly shake it off. "What's the matter princess, not into sex?" He laughs.

I hold my breath, making a huge gulp that makes my head vibrate. Freezing on the spot I don't do anything. I can't do anything.

"I saw you, with Bellamy. Was that you're first time?" While laughing he traces my cheek with his hand. I squint away. My throat feels like it's being chocked and torn to pieces so I can't speak. "No?" Murphy's hand moves down from my cheek. Touching everything on his way down.  
"Do you know what this makes you? Because I do." His grip makes me groan in pain. Trying as hard as I can to move away but he's strong.

"Murphy, leave me alone." I cry. Unfortunately, it doesn't make a difference.

He presses his lips to my cheek then to my ear. "You're a slut. A filthy pathetic slut!" He laughs faintly afterwards. Then he tries kissing me, when he doesn't get his way I feel the connection of the punch. I try to scream but when I open my mouth nothing comes out. Punching and kicking him is all I can do. My voice is broken and my body feels weak and useless.

"Leave me alone!" I scream and my fist hits his hideous face. But he doesn't back down, as efficiently as I can. I try crawling away but Murphy grabs my feet and pulls me back. Tears are appearing from my eyes and cries from my mouth. Praying and praying for someone to hear me. "No! Please!" But I still feel Murphy's presence. Teasing me. Haunting me. This is when I realize what a true jerk is. Not Bellamy. Defiantly not Bellamy. He treated me like I meant something to him. But Murphy. He's using me as a play toy. It's still pure blackness, all I can hear our Murphy's laughs and my whimpers of pain. I know now, it's all going to be over.

"Hey, over here!" I hear someone call. Relief fuels my body again. Bellamy? "Clarke." Someone is gripped to me and helped me up. Finn. I hold in my tears or pain and relief.

With the light of the torch, I see Bellamy on top of Murphy. Punching him over and over. I go over to him and see Murphy's face bloody and Bellamy's covered in sweat.

"Bellamy stop it, you'll kill him!" I shout pulling on his shoulders.

"He deserves to die!" Bellamy states continuing to knock the life out of Murphy. I tighten my grip on him and manage to pull him off.

"No! We don't get to decide who lives and die." I scream, Bellamy's face is full of sadness.

Murphy struggles to stand up and once he does he runs. Sprints away. Not wanting to be near us for another second.

"Clarke." Bellamy starts.

But I just run to him and hug him tightly. "No." I interrupt. "Don't apologize. You were right about everything. You're not a jerk. I was the jerk. I'm so sorry." Then my tears come flooding out. Bellamy returns my embrace which is such a good feeling. I smile while crying into his shirt. I hope he doesn't mind though.

***  
We're back at camp hand in hand. I didn't care. He didn't care. We didn't care. Together we go to my tent. Lying side by side. I put my head on his chest and his arm curls round me.

"Thank you." I whisper.

Bellamy kisses my forehead and I start to drift off to sleep. Knowing I'm safe because he's here. Bellamy. My Bellamy. I wonder to myself what tomorrow might bring. If it's good, or if it's not- we'll be ready.


	15. Chapter 15

**Clarke**  
Murphy's there, laughing at me. My face is covered in thick, oozy blood. I scream and plead but he has no mercy. A long, red belt is gripped inside his right hand. But with his left, he strokes my cheek so roughly. Pins and needles spread all over my body. I scream for Bellamy- no answer. Murphy hits me every time I make a sound. Blood rolls from my nose and mouth. My hair is a lump of knots.

"Please. Please. Don't, don't hurt me anymore." I whisper, my words so vacant it whistles away like the wind.

"Shut up princess!" He chuckles pressing his lips on mine, instantly I pull away and hit Murphy in the face. He just giggles crazily and stomps over to me. Knife in his hand. "You'll be so much easier when you're dead." I feel the knife end touching my trembling neck. My eyes are closed tightly and water drops my eyes. This is the end. I try to imagine myself in the perfect place. The meadow. With the perfect person. Bellamy. I pretend to hum, I hear the beautiful songs of the magical birds. My hair blows in the majestic wind. The first scar makes my throat tickle. Only a few drops of blood drip out.

Suddenly, I don't feel the knife anymore. I open my eyes and my imaginary world is gone. But I do see Bellamy. He is fighting with Murphy and I don't stop them. I don't want to. Murphy deserves to die. He deserves to feel as much pain as I did, as Bellamy did, as all of us did. He pounds Murphy, making blood splutter from his mouth. I think about how this will turn out. Bellamy is stronger. But Murphy has the knife. While I'm thinking the dreadful sound of the knife entering a body echo's around the room. The tragic gulp escapes from his mouth. But when I realize the only thing coming out of Murphy's mouth is laughter. I take a deep, whimpering breath. Wonder slowly over to my dying lover. Bellamy has blood spiting from his mouth, tears dripping from his eyes. I crouch down to him and cry myself. Letting everything out.

"I'm...sorry." He coughed. His eyes start closing faintly.

"No! Don't die on me! Bellamy! Please!" I whimper, placing my head on his dying chest.

***  
"No!" I scream waking from a frightening nightmare. Tears fills my eyes

"Clarke, what's wrong?" Bellamy runs into my tent alive and not stabbed by Murphy.

"It doesn't matter." I state.

He comes round and sits next to me. "Come on you can tell me." His hand pats my back. I retreat instantly. Because all I can picture is Murphy sitting next to me, not Bellamy. I put my head in my hands to hold away my tears. "Clarke?" He asks again taking my hand in his. But I don't feel the warmth of his hand, I feel the coldness of Murphy's. Pulling my hand away, I run from the tent.

**Bellamy**  
I wish I killed Murphy, everything about him made me sick. His look. His personality. Everything. Right when I had the chance. He deserves to die! If only I could get my hands around his neck. He deserves to die!

Sitting in the tent, I'm speechless. I have a feeling I know what's happening with Clarke. She's having nightmares about Murphy. Because I didn't kill him! Loving Clarke, is the best thing I've done, I don't want to screw that up. I'm so lucky to love her. But knowing that monster is still out there - that's worrying. The sun is setting and I take off my shirt and shoes and just lie in the bed. Imagining myself living happily with Clarke. With the relief of knowing Murphy's gone. Gone for good.

"Bellamy." I hear someone whisper. I open my eyes and it's pitch black. It's Clarke. She lies down next to me. Her warmth spreading to me.  
"Murphy. That's the nightmares. When ever someone touches me. All I see is him."

I cradle my arm around her and I feel her shudder. But Clarke just smiles weakly and snuggles up to me. "It's my fault. I should of killed him when I had the chance." I exclaim.

"No, it wasn't. Don't say that he should die because you're not a murderer. I saw you in the woods with Atom I know you're not a killer." She kisses me on the cheek and then starts drifting off to sleep.

I know I should say something, but what? I like Clarke a lot but I've never told her. There isn't really time for love on the ground. But when she said I'm not a killer, she might be right. Killing Murphy, would be like killing my humanity.

**Clarke**  
Everyone is out and building great achievements. Boys are building more of the wall. Girls are trying to do weapons. Bellamy left me in charge of watching the entrance workers. I don't know why though, I thought we were all in this together.

I suddenly feel a hand around my stomach. "How's it going?" He asks.

"It's going." I smile.

Meanwhile this random comes over to us. "Bellamy, Clarke. Come look." Then she runs off and we follow. As when we reach the entrance through the walls. We see this teenage girl with dark hair walking along straight towards us. Bellamy's grip loosens and he runs outside the gate.

"Octavia!" He shouts.


	16. Chapter 16

**Clarke**  
Octavia and Bellamy stumble into camp, she looks in pain. As if every step she takes agony shakes through her whole body. Looking directly at her I see that her feet are swollen. Octavia has a deepening frown glued to her face. She doesn't seem to notice that we have been worrying about her, maybe she doesn't even care. Bellamy tries to help Octavia but she just rushes past him. Her hair is dark and messy. Yet she doesn't seem hurt, actually happy. As if she has had the time of her life. Something about her is different, the way she moves. The way her body somehow looks like she's bigger. But we have been starving for the past weeks. I hope she's okay. Once she enters the camp, she ignores everyone else and walks straight towards me.

"Clarke. We need to talk in private." She states, not a hint of feeling in her face.

"Okay." I reply and then she takes my arm and basically drags me to a tent. Zipping it up tightly. Checking for any eavesdroppers.

"I'm sorry." And then she breaks down into tears. Octavia's face turns bright red. Embracing me tightly, she just cries. I sniff the smell of her hair, sea water. Trees. The ground. Earth. After breaking the embrace she just smirks. Sarcastically, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I was so stupid."

"What?" I ask, taking her hands in mine. "Tell me Octavia. What happened when you ran away?"

"Clarke. I've stopped." Her whole body turning cold. "I didn't happen when it was suppost too."

"No. No. No. Octavia, I'm so sorry." I move around her and start unzipping the tent. "We have to tell Bellamy."

"Are you crazy no!" She shouts re-zipping the tent back up. "Clarke you have to listen to me. Do not tell Bellamy!"

My whole face goes pale, not tell Bellamy? He needs to know. Bellamy will help her- he has to help her. "He will help you. We have to tell him you're pregnant." I exclaim.

"Clarke, I told you because I trust you. Please trust me back. I will stop this." She tells me.

"I.." I'm not sure how to answer this question. How can I do this to Bellamy? But Octavia, she needs me. "I'll keep your secret." I unzip the tent and I'm about to walk out.

"Thank you Clarke." She stops me.

"Don't thank me yet, when you start getting a lump- you'll have Bellamy to answer too." I try to smile but I just exit. Where I come face to face with Bellamy.

"Is she okay, what's wrong?" He asks, so much concern on his face.

This was my chance to make the right decision. Tell Bellamy the truth, he deserves it. But Octavia, she's having a baby. "Yep she's fine." I smile, hiding my teeth. Lying to him was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I quickly walk past him. But he grabs my arm.

"Princess, are you okay?" Bellamy asks.

I nod efficiently. Turn my head and feel him pulling on me again.

"Hey." I turn around and suddenly feel his lips on mine. As I break away, we just rest forehead to forehead. As if we have always belonged there.

"I have to go." I smile, letting go of the connection.


	17. Chapter 17

**Clarke**

"Clarke, hurry up we need to go." Octavia pesters me.

I'm sitting down in my tent thinking about the whole situation. Octavia has started getting a lump and swollen feet. Luckily, no one has noticed. Not even Bellamy. I keep feeling so guilty for lying to him. How could I be so cruel? I love him but Octavia came to me because she trusts me. And I'm just glad she does.

I take a deep breath and make my way to outside. "Where are we going?" I ask.

"We need to tell Lincoln, and me going alone. Do you think Bellamy would let me?" She tilts her head in a puppy like way.

"Fine but I feel bad about lying to him." I tell O. Her face full of confusion.

"Then don't come!" She shouts running out of the tent.

I quickly run after her, it's better if I'm with her. "Octavia wait!" She stops and turns. "I'm coming."

***  
So we set off, as fast as we can. Walking in silence, she keeps stomping as if she is trying to prove a point. "Trying to prove something Octavia?" I ask, jogging a bit to keep up my paste so I can still see Octavia.

"No, not at all." She lies.

Suddenly, I just stop. So annoyed with her at the moment. "Look stop! I'm helping you, lying to my boyfriend and connecting with a grounder. You could at least show some appreciation." I state angrily.

"You're right, I'm sorry!" Octavia lies.

"I give up." I say walking ahead of her, "Where are we going?"

"No where. It's here." She states.

And we both stop and wait. We wait for the father of Octavia's child. A grounder.

There is a sudden snap of a tree. My pulse rises and my breath quickens. Then in between a tree is a shadow. A big, tall dark shadow. Octavia takes steps closer to him while I feel like retreating. I do take a few steps back and I let Octavia do the talking.

"Lincoln, thank you for coming." She kisses him lightly.

He just smiles at her. But he also stares down at her stomach.

"I'm having a baby. Your baby." She giggles and waits for his reaction. But he doesn't have a reaction. He just stares at her blankly. As if he is angry for some reason. Octavia's smile turns into a sad frown. She takes her hands of Lincoln. And he just sprints of, not turning back or caring. At least that's what we think. Octavia looks stunned and that she is about to scream and cry.

"Octavia." I say but she interrupts.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Octavia screams, then she just runs off. And I shout for her but she doesn't listen.

***  
Finally, we arrive at camp. I'm still calling her and she still isn't listening. I actually catch up on her and grab her arm.

"Octavia, please." I tell her.

This catches Bellamy's eyes. And he makes his way over.

"Leave me alone!" She screams.

"What's going on?" Bellamy comes in and asks.

Octavia just storms off but he grabs her arm with his fast reflexes.

"O?" His eyes full of worry and sadness.

"Just leave me alone!" And with that she runs to the drop ship. Leaving me with Bellamy. A very furious Bellamy.

"Bell-" I start.

"What did you do to her?" He asks interrupting me, stepping so close to me. Making me feel so intimidated.

"Nothi-" I tell him.

"If you are making her sad? I will-" Bellamy shouts not caring about the audience watching.

"I'm not making her sad! She's pregnant for godsakes! I'm trying to help her!" That's when I realize I have gone to far. I've told him about something I swore not to do.

"What?" He asks, fake smiling to hide his confusion. "You kept that from me?"

I'm so stunned by it all that I don't say anything.

"I guess I was wrong about you." He pinches his nose in a manly way and just leaves.

I know now that I am screwed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Clarke**  
Octavia is having her baby, two months early. Meaning it's not good. She's screaming and screaming and I'm trying to help as much as I can. I don't know what Bellamy will think of me, if Octavia dies. He probably won't even think about me. For a few months since he found out about Octavia, he hasn't been speaking to me. At all. Every time I try to make a conversation, he just walks away from me. Sometimes I feel like I just want to punch him really hard. Because he pisses me off so much.

He's waiting outside the drop ship, I take a break from Octavia and head outside for a quick swig of water. I notice that Bellamy is just staring at me, confused. He's been pacing up and down, not wanting to come into the drop ship but to not be too far away. His eyes don't break from looking at me. Somehow, they look glance at him, and stroll past into the drop ship. But he grabs my wrist and pulls me back.

"Bellamy, let go." I sternly say.

"Clarke, please help her. She can't die, she can't!" He sobs, that's the most he's said to me in months and not even an apology.

But I decide to let it go, well until the pregnancy is over. "I can't promise the baby will survive, it's two months early. Octavia, I'm not sure either but I promise you. I will try my best." He smiles weakly and so do I, before walking back into the drop ship.

"Come on, Octavia. You need to push." I shout. Blood's all over me, I have to bite my lips to stop me from throwing up. She groans and screams, her face turning pale from loss of blood. "Please!"

And Octavia does push, you can see her veins popping. She's pushing as hard as she can. Screams escape her mouth, she gasps, then screams some more. The baby is nearly out, then I can see the head. I smile faintly. as Octavia lets out a huge sigh of relief. The baby is out, I pick the baby up and my smile turns to a frown.

"Aren't babies supposed to cry once they are born?" Octavia asks, not wanting to know the answer to the question.

I don't do anything, I just stare at the babies chest, waiting for it to go up and down. But it doesn't. I accidentally, let out a small cry. Octavia takes her baby, tears dripping from her eyes.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper, I run out of thee drop ship. Past Bellamy and everyone else. I run straight to the woods, not stopping. I don't have the energy to run anymore, but I also don't have the energy to stop. So I just fall, I fall to the ground in tears. It's my fault the baby is dead! My fault! I just think to myself, today I've lost a baby.

I've probably lost a friend.

And I've definitely lost Bellamy.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N- Thank you so much for reading my story! Don't worry it's not over yet. I just wanted to say that if you like the story then maybe you would like the videos I made for it too. The links are just bellow. Again thanks for reading, following, and reviewing. BTW please review about my video, so I know if they are good or not. **

** watch?v=RW6geccHdrI**

** watch?v=xftyxF2wH00**

**Thanks again. **

**Polly x**

**Clarke**  
I fell asleep by that tree, in my dreams I see Bellamy. A really pissed off one. He charges towards me and beats me up. Every punch is like a dagger to the heart. I scream in pain but no one seems to care. But then I see Octavia, holding her dead baby. Guilt overwhelms me.

"I'm so sorry!" I scream, tears streaming from my eyes.

"You're a murderer!" Octavia and Bellamy spit. Then the whole camp starts.

"Murderer! Murderer!" Is coming from everyone's lips. A chant, that's digging into my ears and branded on my heart. Murderer.

***  
I'm panting and sweat trickles down my forehead, the moon is bright above the world. I rub my eyes to stop the tears from coming. Then I notice that me hands are covered in blood, I try to wipe it on my clothes. To somehow get rid of it but it's dried its self on to me. I hear twigs snap and I turn around frightened.

"Clarke, it's just me." Bellamy slumps down next to me, he places his hand around my shoulder. "You've been crying." He states.

"Way to state the obvious." I try to laugh but end up crying instead. "I screwed up everything. Octavia hates me. You hate me!"

"It wasn't your fault princess. Nature did it, blame nature." He laughs. "Octavia will come round soon enough, and she doesn't blame you. Trust me."

"You still hate me Bellamy, admit it!" I move away so his arm isn't around me anymore. "After you found out Octavia was pregnant. You didn't talk to me until she was having the baby. Not one thing. Do you know what that felt like?" I pause.

"Clarke-." I wasn't expecting him to answer.

"Guilt!" I break down in tears before running back to camp- praying for no one to notice or follow me.

Sadly, Bellamy does. I hide my face in embarrassment when he enters my tent.

"What do you want Bellamy?" I spit in disgust. "Did you come here to make me feel even more guilty?"

He sits down next to me and stares into my eyes. "No. You were right, I was a selfish d**k head for ignoring you. It's just I've never had a proper relationship lasting more then a night. Me and you, we have something special. I just couldn't handle it."

"Really?" I wipe the tears from my eyes.

He laughs and repeats 'really'. We stare at each other for what seems like forever. He doesn't move at all. Ever few seconds he quickly blinks. I try to stop my self blushing but it's quite hard too. But I make the first move and kiss him. Sharply and quick. Just a peck. Bellamy builds a cocky smile across his face. Which makes me laugh.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

I place his hand over my heart. "I'm sure." That's one of the things I really liked about Bellamy. He always wanted me to be be okay. Feel okay in the moment. This moment. Our lips meet again but more passionately. He smells like trees and water. Fresh air. Earth. His hands go down to my waist and mine pull off his top and go through his hair. Bellamy was sweating and so was I. He kisses the side of my neck and touches my bare back. A shock goes through me when he does, like a rush of adrenaline. I fall back and he falls with me. Our bodies so close, warmth spreading between us. His eyes are closed like mine, thinking this is all a dream but luckily it's reality. We both let groans escape our mouths but we didn't care. We were together, at last, that's what matters. That's how we liked it.

***  
The sun is bright and I can hear mine name being called. I open my eyes, to see that I'm naked. Next to me a sleeping Bellamy. I giggle a little and get dress as efficiently as I can. I still try to process the thought in my mind. Bellamy has been ignoring me for months. Once he forgives me I sleep with him. That's stupid. I wake up Bellamy and we both head outside.

"What is it?" Bellamy asks.

"A grounder." He replies, pointing to the entrance of the wall.

"Lincoln?" We all turn to see Octavia coming from the drop ship. She still looks pale, tear stains down her cheek. I think to myself that I still haven't apologized. Bellamy tries to step forward but I stop him. Octavia runs to Lincoln and hugs him tightly, her sobs loud and bold.

"I'm sorry." He tells her. "I love you Octavia." A smile spreads across my face when he says that. "Can I see my baby?"

Octavia's tears start coming again. "Dead." She whisper's. "During labor." She hugs him again. This time I let Bellamy past as he makes his way to the grounder I follow.

"Why else are you hear?" Bellamy asks, no sympathy in his voice.

"A message from the grounders." He replies, taking Octavia's hand. "I chose to fight with you." He smiles at Octavia.

I step forward. "Fight? What do you mean fight?" I ask.

"We are at war." Lincoln states.

I feel the grip on my hand as Lincoln says that. Bellamy was holding my hand tightly. He was trembling. So was I. Now this is horrible. The grounders have declared war.


	20. Chapter 20

**Clarke**  
"And that means that WE are grounders!" Bellamy shouts, cheers spread among the camp.

Bellamy is right but so wrong as well. "Bellamy's right we are grounders, but that still means that if we want to live, we need to leave. Now. So pack as many things as you can carry. Hurry! Come on" I state. Everyone nods and murmurs spread through camp. "Come on let's go!" I add. So everyone moves and start's packing. I walk away before I feel someone tugging on my arm.

"We shouldn't run." His eyes full of hurt.

"The decision's been made." I tell him.

"Crowds make bad decisions, just ask Murphy." Bellamy exclaims. He places his hand on my face. "Leaders do what they think is right."

I break the connection. "I am." I try to smile before leaving him hanging. I walk to the drop ship to start packing. To be honest all of this is frightening. I'm so scared about everything. All I know is that people are going to die. Maybe Octavia, maybe Finn, maybe Raven. Maybe Bellamy. Maybe even me. I erase that thought from my mind and pack as much as I can. For a minuet I just stop and I look around the drop ship. Remembering all the crap times we had here. Finn nearly dying, us torturing a grounder. That thought sends a shiver down my spine. I take a few breaths and just try to relax. But seriously, how can I relax? We're going through an effing war! I stop the tears from coming when someone walks in.

"You nearly ready princess?" Bellamy asks.

I stand up and put my backpack on and am about to exit. "I'm ready now." I state.

"Clarke." He turns to face me. "I don't know what's going to happen once we leave this drop ship. But it might be the last time we ever have a private moment together. And I just wanted to tell you something." He takes me hands in his. "I love you Clarke Griffin."

The words make me blush and smile. I'm speechless because I know this is hard for Bellamy. It's hard for him to love someone, that's why he has so many one nighters. Because it's hard for him to express his feelings. It may be hard for him to say it but once he does, Bellamy means it. Tears start appearing from my eyes. "I love you Bellamy Blake." I smile and we both lean in for a kiss. So passionate and wonderful. I try to stop my eyes closing because I want to see Bellamy. Injure everything about him. His looks. His personality. His touch. His taste. I don't dare to leave his lips, as I know that once I do it's over. Everything is over. He tries to breath but I stop him. "Please, don't stop." I try not to cry. He breaks away and looks me in the eye.

"I'll never stop loving you." He hugs me, his warmth spreading to me. "What ever happens, I'll make my way to you. I promise."

I kiss once again before I step outside to feel the wind hitting me like a bus. This is it. This is war.

***  
Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, Miller, Finn, me and the rest of the camp are walking north away from the grounder army. Guns in hand, our whole bodies alert. We take slow and steady steps making sure not to be too noisy.

"Where are they?" Octavia whispers to me.

"Probably near." I exclaim. She shivers. "Octavia, don't worry."

"How can I not?" She jokes, half whimpering inside.

"Just try." I pat her back and continue.

Bellamy turns around. "Okay, cross roads. Half up half down?" He asks us all.

"We should stick together, the more of us the more intimidated the grounders will be." Lincoln explains.

"Agreed?" Bellamy looks around as if this is a council debate.

Everyone just nods and we continue north- towards the sea. I catch up with Bellamy.

"Bellamy, do you think the sea's safe?" I ask, looking left and right.

"I hope so." He looks at me and I look at him. I try to smile but it's fragile and weak. He tries to return it as well.

Miller runs ahead of us and shouts. "The sea it's here!" He jumps up and down screaming and shouting. We tell him to be quiet but he doesn't see us.

"I'm going to kill him." Bellamy states, standing up and making his way towards Miller.

"Bellamy duck!" I scream at him and without a second of doubt he does. Then this huge spear lands in the center of Miller's chest. We all hold our breath. Before we realize that we should be running. So we all sprint to the sea as quickly as we can. But then we are trapped, grounders all around us. I try to plead for mercy.

"Please." I say.

"This is war!" This grounder says, suddenly they all start it. Chanting 'this is war' over and over again. Bellamy shouts and sprints in between two grounders with his gun and he shoots. He gets one in the stomach but the other has him.

"Bellamy run!" I scream.

But he can't, the grounder is punching him, then he draws out the sword. I gasp, I scream and cry but I know it's useless. I get my gun and try to shoot the grounder. Once I do, he finds my gaze. Bellamy drops like a rag doll, the grounder making his way to me.

"Clarke!" Finn screams.

Sadly, I'm hit. The contact with the grounder's fist to my face hurts like hell. Trying to get my gun straight, more of our people fall to the ground. The grounder has his sword out, I scream and scream. Crying my eyes out. I close my eyes and try to picture Bellamy. Bellamy with me on the drop ship when he tells me he loves me for the first time. Bellamy and me in the woods, sleeping together for the first time. The second in the tent. So perfect so amazing. I remember Bellamy's promise 'What ever happens I'll make my way to you I promise'. I say that over and over in my head. I try to imagine his lips on mine. My eyes are squeezed shut, I'm waiting for the contact of the sword but nothing happens. I open my eyes, to be emerged in red smoke, everyone is. I scream Bellamy's name but no answer. The smoke makes me sleepy. I cough every time I breath through my mouth. I fall to the ground, red smoke filling my eyes but I do see a green light moving towards me. Then nothing.

***  
"We did it Clarke, we won the war." Bellamy smiles. He's all dressed in white. So am I. Looking around I realize that we aren't by the sea anymore. In fact we are in a meadow. A beautiful big meadow. "I promised you that what ever happens I'll find my way back to you and I have." He embraces me, before pressing his lips to mine. I'm so happy to actually taste him again. Feel his soothing touch. Everything.

"This is perfect." I whisper between kisses.

"Of course it's perfect, it's our world." He replies, kissing me even more.

I remember his words. 'Our world'. What does he mean by that? Our world. I close my eyes again and meet with his lips. Forgetting everything but him. My love. My Bellamy.

***  
I wake up.

"Bellamy!"


	21. Chapter 21

**Clarke**

"Do you know where you are?" The person next to me asks.

I feel like I can't control my mind, like I'm here but not actually here. I can see I'm in a white room attached to some weird machine. Every few minutes it beeps, I have no idea why. It feels as if my mind has gone completely blank.

"No." I tell them, because that's true, I don't know where the hell I am. Obviously, I'm terrified. Shaking inside. Weirdly, my body doesn't show it, all it's doing is sitting there. Not blinking, barely breathing. Nothing.

The same man asks me another question. "Do you know who you are?"

And I do know who I am, I'm Clarke Griffin. Sadly, I don't think my body knows because it replies. "No."

They move around and grab my hands, I try shaking them off but my hands don't move. As if I'm not controlling them.

"No!" I shout but they don't seem to notice, I repeat myself but they act like I'm not even there. "No." My soft voice whispers. Metal handcuffs lock around my hands, the edges digging into my skin.

"Take her to unit 52." A man in black uniform says. The word suddenly reaches my mind. Mountain Men. Another man nods, he pulls my hands and I reluctantly follow. Along the long corridors, everything is white and bright. I have to wince to stop myself from being blinded. My eyes follow each door window, spying to see whoever is in unlucky enough to be here. I see some people that I don't know, they're probably some of the 100 I never talked too, or noticed. I'm praying to see the face that will make this all better, the face that I love. Bellamy. Sadly, I can't seem to spot him. But I do see Monty, I do a double take to make sure I'm not seeing things, I'm shouting and screaming his name but he doesn't seem to react. Neither does my body, my body just keeps moving forward. Ignoring my orders. Monty just stares at me blankly, as if I'm not even there. I have no idea what's happening and I'm so frightened. I get a glimpse of myself as we pass a mirror, my face is neutral and has no expression. All the cuts and bruises have disappeared from my face. For once my hair is brushed and straight. I try imagining this as a dream and that I'm actually unconscious on the earth floor, lying next to Bellamy and the dead grounders, not stuck wherever I am and not being able to control my body. Maybe they did something to me. Something that I have to fix, but how?

They take me into this room, where they connect me to these wires. Each one pricks me and sends a dribble of blood down my arm. My breath quickens, but my bodies steadies. As if it knows what's happening, I hope it does because I sure as hell don't.

"Prisoner 98. Do not worry, this will only be painful for a few hours." The doctor tells me.

Prisoner 98? Meaning that two of the 100 aren't here, aren't alive. And I have a horrible feeling that it's Bellamy and Finn.

'Don't! Don't put that in me!' I scream, trying as hard as I can to not let him touch me. But my body isn't trying to do anything to help me, it's like it's on their side. As all she does is sit there quietly, not moving an inch. I try to stop my eyes from closing but my effort level is lowering, my eyelids fall and everything is black.

"What happened?" I jerk awake from blackness.

I wasn't expecting anyone to answer me but someone actually does. "You blacked out."

"Wait, you can hear me?" I ask, just to make sure he's not talking to anyone else, but there is only us in the room.

"Of course I can hear you dumbass." He replies.

I smile shortly, I move my body and it actually moves with me. One by one, I move my joints. So shocked, confused and worried. Then I realize I'm still in reality. I look back to the guard, I try to make my eyes puzzle him into telling me some secrets.

"What are you doing?" He asks, his left eyebrow cocked.

"Nothing." I tell him, leaning back, the cold wall sending shivers down my spine.

"You want some food?"

"I'm not hungry." I reply, closing my eyes and pretending to be asleep so he'll leave me alone.

"Fine." He gives in and stands up and is about to leave when I stop him.

"What are they doing to me?" I ask sadly.

He looks at me sorrowfully which I know means that whatever they're doing, it's not good. He sits down next to me. "You came from the sky, am I correct?"

"Yeah, yeah you are." I exclaim.

"They are fascinated by that. That's why every single one of you are in here." He tells me, but I can tell he's lying.

"I still don't understand, what are you doing to me? Where am I?"

He gets up and is about to exit the door when he stops. "You're on Mount Weather Quarantine Ward and you're our test subject." Then he disappears. Leaving me full of questions.


	22. Chapter 22

**Clarke**

I wake up and it's happening again but this time I'm in this white room attached to what seems to be an IV. My body just lies there whilst I want it to look around. My breathing is normal and my pulse is correct. Lots of thoughts race into my mind. 'You're on Mount Weather Quarantine Ward and you're our test subject'. That's what the guard said to me, yet I have no idea what it means. Why me? Where's Bellamy? I want to know the answers to all these questions but I don't know how to get them. My head starts to pound so I lie my head back and try to close my eyes and relax. Slowly, the white room disappears as my eyes blink shut, when I see red above me. I suddenly jump up, my body not following behind me. My eyes follow where the tube is leading, which is right in my veins. A screech realises from my mouth as I try to rip the tube off but my hand just goes through it. They are taking blood from my body.

"Wake up! Wake up!" I scream as loud as I can but my body is still just sound asleep. Great! I try to pry the tube from my wrist but my bitten down nails can do nothing of the sort. I don't know what's happening to me and my body doesn't seem to care. Panic washes over me and I put my hands to my head, take quick and sharp breaths. All I want to do is scream and cry but I know that no one will hear me.

Looking around I see a pointy metal tweezers, which I reach over and try to grab but my hand just goes straight through it. I grunt in annoyance. I can't do anything.

Suddenly, the doors burst open and two guards walk in cautiously. My body's still playing dead while they unstrap the wires, a trickle of blood escapes the small cut from where the tube was inserted in. One of the guards takes a small plaster and sticks it to the spot with a vicious force. My body wakes. It's face still neutral and dull, one by one my legs swing over to one side of the bed and stand up. My head shakes as I do, I'm still not used to it.

I'm walking along the never ending corridors, my heart racing. A guard on either side of me, I think about making a break for it but then I realise that I can't do that without my body following me. I try to imagine where they're going to take me. Probably to another testing room with thousands of tubes running in and out of my body.

Entering the room, I take a deep breath and I'm placed on another, hard chair. I gulp.

"Miss Griffin, today your test will be showing you the truth about your loved ones." The scary doctor tells me.

I roll my eyes and I want to say something back, something mean and snarky but I know I can't. "What do you mean the truth?" I accidently say out loud. Then I realise that I just talked, my body moving with me. I quickly smile and I raise my right arm, I was so happy in that split second that I could actually control my body again. And then I realise where I am and a frown pierces my face.

"I mean the truth about what you think your friends are to you." He explains.

I snort. "Really and why would I believe you?"

"Because we've programmed you to believe." He replies, injecting a syringe into my arm and I wince. "Now sleep tight, don't let the truth bite."

I don't know why but I'm running, I'm running as fast as I can. My bare feet feel numb against the cold floor. I'm still in this white corridor and I'm too scared to look behind me. My breathing quickens as I enter this huge hall way, where I see some people I recognize. Bellamy.

"Bellamy!" I scream in delight, I run to him and I kiss him so passionately not caring who's watching. "I'm so glad to see you, are you okay?" I ask, touching his arms to see if anything is broken.

"Seriously Raven, I'm fine." He laughs.

I stop what I'm doing and I peer up at him. "What?" Dread fills my voice.

"I said that you don't need to worry about me." He repeats, placing his arms around my waist. "I love you Raven." He leans in to kiss me but I dodge it.

"Stop Bellamy, it's me Clarke, not Raven." I state, pushing him back.

"Okay Raven." His emphasise on Raven sends shivers down my spine, why doesn't he know it's me? "I have no idea why you suddenly think you're this Clarke girl. Who is she anyway?"

He doesn't know who I am. "I'm not Raven!" I cry, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"You're okay." Bellamy pushes me into a hug and I can't help myself but cry even though I know that he thinks I'm Raven. I'm so confused.

"I love you Bellamy." Raven kisses him on the cheek.

Suddenly, I'm not next to Bellamy any more, in fact Raven is. I'm standing at the side like a loner while Bellamy and Raven are saying how much they love each other. I scream and cry but they don't notice me, I try to run up to them but I end up running straight into a glass wall.

"What?" I whisper. Banging my hands on the glass but they don't even glance at me. "Bellamy!" I scream and scream. "Please." My cry becomes a whimper and I start sliding to the ground in failure. "Please."

"What the hell was that?" I jump up, one of the guards hands resting on my shoulder, pushing me down to relax.

"It was the truth." The doctor insisted.

"Like hell it was!" Clarke replied.

"Subject is 0 negative on truth and B13, move her to the d3a7h room." The doctor instructed.

"No! Tell me what the hell that was!" I scream.

"It was the truth Clarke, it's what we got as our results for testing on those people." He exclaims.

"What, you mean Bellamy is here?" Hope rises in my voice.

"Right." He smiles weakly. "Get her out of here."

Then it hits me, if Bellamy and Raven our here then that means that what the doctor said is the truth. But I can't trust him, I have no idea what's happening. I still need hope.

"Wait, put her in her sleep." The doctor calls, before making his way to me and sticking another needle straight into my neck. My eyes start to blur before they return back to normal. I try to speak but they can't hear me. I'm trapped again. "Bye, bye Clarke." The doctor waves creepily.

I'm being pulled down the corridor by the guard's right beside me. I'm tearing up because I'm so confused, I just want to see Bellamy. I know that he wouldn't do that to me, but maybe they did something to him, to make him like that. But I don't know, I just want to see him.

"Clarke?" I hear my name being called. "Clarke! Clarke! Clarke!" I look around to see where the endless calls of my name are coming from but nothing. I start thinking that I'm going crazy until I see Bellamy sprinting down the corridor to me. In this minute I forget all about all about the doctor and I run towards him but he walks straight through me. As only my mind ran to him. Instead his stops at me lifeless body. "Clarke?" My body pushes past him. "What's wrong?"

Finally, my body speaks, I'm hoping that it's recognized but then I know that it's not me inside their. "I don't know who you are." She states, rolling her eyes and continuing to walk back to our cell. Bellamy's face is a mix between confusion and misery. I cover my mouth to stop me from crying and crying.

"Bellamy." I whisper even though I know he won't listen to me. Two rough guards appear and take his arms and angrily show him to his cell. I want to follow him but my legs can't seem to move. "Bellamy." I breathe once more. "I love you." But then his disappears down another corridor.


	23. Chapter 23

**Clarke**

I know I have to get out, but how? How am I going to escape this hell hole? There are guards everywhere and I'm under surveillance. All I want to do is see Bellamy, I want him to tell me if what they showed me was the truth or if they are just playing tricks with me mind. But I'm so confused! I don't know anything anymore.

I'm slouched against the wall, my knees bent and my hands over them – thinking. The cheesy music plays which makes me even more impatient. I feel like I should scream and scream.

My body is mine again until they need me for their next experiment. But I don't know if I can wait that long. I've never felt claustrophobic but this annoying room is making suddenly making me feel it. Looking around I try to imagine what Bellamy is thinking, what's wrong with Clarke? Why does she hate me? Is it even Clarke in there? These thoughts send shivers down my spine, so I quickly wash them away. I stand up. I pace around the room until I can think of any bright ideas. I look at my door and see it has a round, glass window in it. I tip toe to the window and look through – nothing. I look up to see the security camera, watching my every moves. I turn away and walk to the bed which is next to the IV machine. I take a deep breath before yanking the beeper away and grabbing the stick in my hand. Rushing to the door I'm about to smash the window before looking up and realise that I'm being watched. So instead I smash the camera from behind then smash the window. The satisfying sound of the broken glass spreads a smile on my face, I was free. Well nearly anyway. Putting my arm through, to find the lock on the other side, makes the glass scratch at my bare skin. Finally, I find the lock and click it open, stupidly I snap my arm back not realising that the glass attacked my arm. I try to gulp down my vomit as I see the giant gash on my arm. After a few breaths, I open the door, taking a piece of broken glass with me.

Slowly, I tip toe out, checking for any guards – I continue. I don't know where Bellamy's room is but I need to find it. There doesn't seem to be many guards around so a little bit of worry spreads through, maybe they're not here for a reason?

I don't take the risk, I just run. I run as fast as my tired legs can take me. My breath runs out quickly but I keep going – I have to keep going. All I know is that Bellamy is on the same floor, that he is someone down these never ending, white corridors. I notice that Monty's cell is now empty, confusion runs through me but I don't stop.

I'm about to run down my fifth corridor when I see two doctors strolling down it instead. I turn back and hide behind the wall, peering down at the glass in my hand. I know what I have to do. Their voices get louder as my breathing becomes quieter. I can do this. 3, 2, 1. I jump up the glass struck in front of me.

"Oh my god." One of the doctor jumps back. He gulps and stares down at his friend, who now has a piece of glass stuck in his chest. I pull it out and drop the glass, startled about what I had just done.

"I-." I stutter, but the doctor doesn't seem scared, more like intrigued. Maybe this is all part of the job, maybe this is a test, a test to see what I'm really like. The thoughts frighten me but I don't push them out, I just stand there- facing him. Obviously, I should be running now but I just feel paralyzed to the spot. I don't trust this guy but then again I rarely trust anyone. Maybe I can trust him or at least pretend too.

"I won't hurt you." He explains, dropping his clipboard and tools on the floor.

"Where is Bellamy?" I demand.

"Who?" He plays dumb.

"Blake! Bellamy Blake!" I scream.

"Oh, room 34." He exclaims, why don't I believe him?

"Why are you helping me?" I question.

"Because, I believe what they're doing to you is wrong."

"I don't believe you." I sternly reply.

"Fine. Don't." Silence fills the empty corridor. I have no idea what the doctor is going to do until he pulls out a radio. "Subject 98 has escaped cell unit, I repeat 98 has escaped." My reflexes aren't as fast a million doctors and guards suddenly turning all the corners – coming for me. I push past the doctor that gave me away and I sprint to room 34, he might be lying but I have to start somewhere. Bellamy I'm coming.

A voice I recognize comes from behind me. "Clarke stop! It's not safe unless you're supervised."

I cock my eyebrows as I turn around to face me doctor. "Sorry doc, but I think I'm pretty supervised."

"You're bleeding?" The doctor states, making his way towards me. "We're here to help you, why won't you believe us?" While he tells me that, I see him make a gesture with his hands, but they confuse me so I stare back to him.

"Let me go!" I shout.

"Very well 98." I don't dare let hope spring inside me because I know he's not telling me the truth. Then I feel it, the needle.

"No." I whisper.

"Sorry Miss Griffin, but you just don't seem to realise, we can't let you go. Not after we got so far with you. You're special Clarke." A cocky smile spreads on his face. "The others, we'll demolish after a few more experiments." I think about Monty's empty cell. "But you, you're our little princess and we can't let you go so soon."

Anger thrives within me and I fight back with all my might. I kick and scratch as many people as I can. After a few seconds I sprint down more corridors, desperate to see Bellamy one more time. Room 36. I'm getting closer. Room 35. One more, but suddenly the injection kicks in and I fall to the ground. My head hitting the floor hard, my arm still spilling my blood everywhere. But I need to continue. I have to keep going.

"Bellamy." I whisper, pushing myself to stand up. I can start to feel my mind escaping my body, so I move faster. Exhilaration explodes within me as I hear the faint shouts of the doctors and guards. "34." A small sigh of relief escapes from my lips as I knock on the door like a crazy person. I just wanted to see his face one more time, once more as myself before the drugs kicked in. I had too. Eventually, Bellamy's face appears in the glass window in the middle of the door. He smiles when he sees me but he also has worry all over his face when he sees my bloody arm.

"Clarke." He shouts. "Open the door Clarke."

My eye sight becomes blurry as I try to fiddle down the door to find the lock. My pulse starts to race and I feel like I'm being spun round and round. My head is banging, for a second I place my hand on my head and once I take it off there's blood. The sounds of the guards are getting closer and closer. I gasp and finally I hear the lock click. The door opens. I'm prepared for a soft hug, to be reunited with the love of my life, but all I feel is the solid ground and my body on it. The last thing I hear is my name being called. Bellamy.


	24. Chapter 24

**Clarke**

"Clarke. Can you hear me?" A blurred voice asks me.

As I blink my eyes open I recognize who the voice belongs too – Bellamy. "Bellamy." I smile, I'm about the embrace him but then he says something else.

"Clarke, please wake up." He sobs, Bellamy tries to shake me awake.

"No." I breathe. "Not again." I look at my cut arm which is now bandaged, rather badly, with white cloth.

"Please wake up!" Bellamy shouts louder.

My body's eyes start to flicker open. "Where am I?" It asks.

"Clarke, you're in my cell, I pulled you in once you passed out just in time." He explains, a sweet smile plastered on his face.

"No!" My body jumps up and runs to the door. "They need to find me!"

Bellamy follows her. "Are you okay Clarke?" His hand gently touches her left shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" She screams, shaking his hand off quickly. "I don't want to stay here."

"I'm just trying to protect you, I love you." His smile disappearing with sadness and misery.

"What do you mean?" She asks, watching this makes me sick. And there's nothing I can do but watch my relationship fall apart.

He takes her hands in his. "I mean what I said in the drop ship at camp."

A smile appears on my face when he tells her that, I didn't even know he remembered that.

"What bloody drop ship?" She states. "Stop confusing me! I don't even know who you are and now you're telling me you love me?" My body snatches her hands free. "My life started in Mount Weather, I was born here and I'm going to die here."

"What did they do to you?" Tears filling his eyes.

"Nothing! They helped me, they love me. I'm there princess!" She runs to the corner and cries.

"I remember when you were my princess." He whispers, strolling to the other corner and resting on it. "What am I going to do?" He slowly slides down the wall, lifting his head to the ceiling, I can see his Adam's apple bobbing up and down in fear. "I want Clarke back."

"Oh Bellamy." I walk to him and sit next to him. The faint sound of Bellamy's snoring makes me giggle a little. But I lean in to him and rest my eyes. "I remember to."

***  
I suddenly wake up, as there is a loud knocking on the door, which is blocked by different furniture making it hard for anyone to come in. My body is still cuddled in the corner and Bellamy is pasting up and down the cell, not daring to open the door.

"Open this door Blake before we knock it down!" A deep, guard's voice shouts. "We know you're in there!"

Bellamy looks across at my body then to the closet.

"Clarke come on get in here." Bellamy takes her hands and walks her into the closet, she is very reluctant. "I want to help you!" He states.

"I don't need your help." She exclaims, pushing him away.

"Please stay in here." Bellamy closes the door and waits a few seconds to hear if my body is trying to get out. Luckily, she's staying put. I'm about to block the door and ask Bellamy where I should hide, then I remember that no one can see me. "Okay, okay. Doors open." He explains. Suddenly, it bursts open and guards and doctors swarm in. One of the guards grabs Bellamy and throws him to the wall.

"Bellamy!" I scream running over and touch his bloody face but he doesn't feel my touch.

"Blake, get up." The doctor shouts. The guard yanks Bellamy upwards to face the doctor. "Where is Clarke Griffin?"

Bellamy doesn't even flinch. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yes, you know! Clarke Griffin, the supposed love of your life?"

"What did you inject into her?" Bellamy changes the subject.

"It's called a serum 100, we've been doing it to her for days and to everyone else. But today was the final experiment. So we injected her with serum 101, the final chapter."

"What the hell does that mean?" Bellamy asks.

"It means that with the serum 100 Clarke would leave her body and just be her mind, but after a few hours it would wear off and she would become back to her normal self." The doctor stares hard as Bellamy. "And with 101, it's so strong that only true feelings could bring her back to her body. And because it's so strong it's nearly impossible for someone to go back."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, that she's already gone." A tear drips from Bellamy's eye.

"What are you going to do to her?" Bellamy asks.

The doctor takes small steps towards Bellamy. "I'm experimenting with her to find things out and then after that I'll see what she's really made off." A small smirk appears on the doctor's face as Bellamy tries to break free in anger.

"Leave her alone!" He scream.

"And after the alone time, do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to kill her!" His croaked laugh haunts me. "Like I did with Monty, Raven, Finn, Octavia." He knew that Bellamy was going to try something when he said Octavia's name, as Bellamy is strong enough to break free and he punches the doctor and his reaction is just laughing. "And now, to you." He turns to one of the guards. "Take him to room 12."

"I thought you said we were going to kill him?" The guard questions.

"We will, but first we need info on the girl and he's going to give it to us."

"And why would he do that?" The guard replies.

"Torture." He smirks.

"No!" I scream but they're already taking him away, and I didn't even get to say goodbye. I try to grab the door handle before it closes but my hand just goes straight through it. "God dam it!" I shout. "No!" I close my eyes and cry. Once I open them again I'm standing in a closet. I blink a couple of times to check I'm not imagining it but I step out of the closet into Bellamy's cell. "What?" Then I look around but I can't see my body. Then I smile in realisation that I'm in my body. I grab the door handle and yank it open before sprinting to room 12 because I know what I'm going to do. I've got my body back, so now I'm going to use it to kick some doctor ass.


	25. Chapter 25

**Clarke**

Whatever happens, I'll make my way to back to you, I promise.

I want to stop running and catch my breath but I can't bring myself to stop, that would mean giving up on Bellamy and I couldn't do that. Room 12 couldn't be too far away now. I've reached room 9 but something inside of me believes that it won't just be a small lock to pick to enter room 12. Yet I continue running, an aching pain at the backs of my legs. Gritting my teeth, I push through it and carry on. Trickles of sweat dropping from my forehead, I never realised how big this place was.

Honestly, I was expecting the guards chasing after me, but they're probably all fussing over Bellamy which worries me even more. No one seems to really care about me, no one at all. As if I'm invisible but I know I'm back in my body because I can open and close doors. I nearly sprint past room 12 but I skid on the wet floor and turn the corner toward room 12. The door, like I predicted, wasn't just bolted shut. Quickly, I peer in the glass window, to see a crowd of wires, guards, doctors and injections. Gulping quietly, I duck below the glass window and floods of ideas pop up in my mind. I needed to get inside room 12, smoothly, silently and sneakily. Rejecting the stupid thoughts, I make a stupid and reckless decision, I look up and down the corridor, checking to see if there are any guards around. No one. I smirk when I see the steep ladder, leading one level down. I was making an entrance from under the room, they'll never see it coming. For a split second, I smile at my great idea before breaking into a fast sprint. My hands became quite sweaty, so it's hard to get a good grip on the ladder, I pray not to slip off as that won't be good for anyone. Bellamy would be dead and I would be taken again and used for experiments. I was **not **going to lose my chance to save him – I couldn't. Trying to concentrate, the memory of the ark, camp is all gone. Everything we built, has crashed and burned, and only a few are alive today.

_Clarke_

The ladder seemed to be extremely long and my arms start feeling weak and useless.

_I don't know what's going to happen once we leave this drop ship. But it might be the last time we ever have a private moment together. _

My hands start becoming really sweaty, and my grip starts to loosen.

_And I just wanted to tell you something _

I fall, my body jerking once it hits the ground, my eyes start pushing themselves shut.

_I love you Clarke Griffin_

Remembering Bellamy words, I push myself up. Ignoring the aching pain all over my body. I had to do this.

"Don't worry Bell, I won't let them hurt you." I tell myself. I limp as quickly as I can towards the exact spot underneath room 12. Just as I thought, there's an unlocked hatch leading to the room. Idiots. Silently, I try hauling it open, praying for it not to make a huge noise, luckily it doesn't. Gripping the edges, I leap and stretch my arms to push my body through the hatch. My upper body strength was awful, but I know it won't let me down today. My head still feels a bit dizzy from the falling but I try to ignore it as best as I can. I needed to hurry up. Finally, I'm in the room, I become light on my feet as I look around and crawl to the cabinets. Peering up, I see Bellamy wired to all these different machines, with doc next to him an enormous needle in his right hand. I taking a deep breath, I creep up, and with no hesitation I run. Straight to doc, knocking the needle right from his hands. "Get the hell of him!" I scream, doc doesn't seem as weak as I though because he's tackling me as best as he could but being on the ground for a while has taught me to be tougher. Suddenly, I think I'm winning but then I feel the guards pulling me off, I punch and kick as hard as I can but it's obvious that they are stronger.

"Well, well, it's almost like the opposite of a fairy-tale. The brave princess saving the rebel king." The doctor hovers the needle at Bellamy's neck, while I scream and shout for him to stop. "Sadly, this fairy tale won't end in happy ever after." Sticking the needle in the vein on Bellamy's neck, it's like I suddenly have a rush of adrenaline, I just pounce. Knocking the guards to the floor and making the doctor smash to the ground. Yanking the liquid full needle from Bellamy's neck I stick it in the doctors instead.

"You were wrong, it does end in a happy ever after, but not for you." I tell him before pushing the needle down and letting the liquid flow into his system, killing him. "Bellamy." I whisper, jumping up and pulling out all the tubes and wires attached to his fragile body. His eyes are firmly shut and I rest his head of my lap. I had no idea what they have already done to him but the only thing I can do is pray. "Come on Bell, wake up. Please, wake." His face is cold and pale, I can feel the tears starting to fall. "You can't break your promise, not now. Not after everything we've been through." I feel for Bellamy's pulse on his neck and eventually I let out a deep breath when I feel the slow beating. Bellamy was alive.

For now.


	26. Chapter 26

**_**Bellamy** _**

**_I don't know if it's right to imagine this place when you sleep, this place where no-one else knows of. I guess some people could call it home, yet it feels more to me than that. This is beautiful. Earth is beautiful. The endless sound of the hum of the birds, while the wind blows your hair all over the place- amazing. I wish I lived here, maybe I do. Maybe this is the world I was meant to be in. Not the arc all the wall in the space, not I a drop ship on earth. Neither in a ceil room in Mount Weather. I smiled wildly and laughed, I didn't think it was real. I run around, touching the inches long grass and the enormous trees. _**

**_Thinking about the earth, I gulp. Looking around again, I realised no-one was here with me. I was alone. Sure earth wasn't perfect, but there was one thing that was incredible. Something that I needed with me to make my life worth living. I knows she feels the same way, she even told me. Remembering that moment, made me smile. I shout her name, praying for her to hear me. But the only sound that returns my call is nature. The smile lingers from my face and worries brushes over. I repeat her name and continue running, ignoring the beautiful nature surrounding me. I had to find her, otherwise this paradise will become my nightmare. _**

**_I start stumbling to the ground when my legs start giving in. An aching pain erupts in my neck, which makes me grown in pain. As if something has been jabbed in there. Holding my neck in pain, trickles of blood dripped from the small cut._**

**_"Bellamy?" A voice says above me. _**

**_"Clarke." I look up to see a white figure all the way at the end of the meadow. "Clarke!" I repeat louder. _**

**_Her hand stretches for me. "Take my hand and we can live in paradise together, forever and ever." Her smile is so welcoming I grit my teeth and push myself towards her. "Come on Bell, you can do it." Something inside of me knew that doing this was killing me, basically inviting the bullet into my head. I start to feel dizzy as I struggle to make my way to Clarke._**

**_ "I'm coming for you Clarke." I reassure her. "Just wait a little longer." I cry out in pain as I feel like something's being yanked out of my neck. _**

**_I fall to the ground. _**

**_"No!" I shout, angry at myself. "Please no! Goddamit!" I bang the ground in annoyance. I couldn't do it, I couldn't run anymore. My weak body starts feeling weak, my eyes falling asleep. "Clarke." I whisper. _**

**_The white figure steps over me, heling me? "You can't give up Bellamy." Her voice first soft and sorrowful. "You promised that you'd never give up on me!" Clarke states, her beautiful skin, and blossoming white dress starts turning as black as night. "Why did you give up on me? You said you loved me! Don't you know what they're doing to me Bell? They're killing me Bellamy." Tears erupt from my useless body. "They're hurting me and I need you to say me!" Tears dribble from her eyes now too as she sits on the floor over me. "Come on Bell, wake up. Please, wake. You can't break your promise, not now. Not after everything we've been through!" She states, placing her freezing hand on my boiling head. "Bellamy?" My eyes start drifting away and I wanted to stop them. _**

**_I know what I'm doing. _**

**_I'm giving up. _**

**_I'm giving up on everyone I know, Octavia. _**

**_Even Clarke. _**

**_I know she won't be able to hear me but I say them anyway. _**

**_"I love you Clarke Griffin." _**

**Clarke**

Sitting in my plain, white cell, I cry. There's nothing else I can do. After killing the doctor, Bellamy failed to wake up. His pulse was still running but barely and I wasn't willing to give up until he was awake in my arms again. Suddenly, guards shot in and took me away, I kicked and screamed for them not too but obviously they wouldn't listen. I failed what I was supposed to win in, I was supposed to save Bellamy. But I was too slow, I was too slow to save him. It's all my fault, all my fault. Seeing his lifeless body being lifted ungracefully to a table to get 'help' drew daggers into my heart numerous amount of times. His life was in the hands of the people at Mount Weather. The people I trust least, I won't even be told if he makes it or not. Why would they tell me, I'm going to die here soon. I have to. Living without Bellamy is just like not living at all. Why would I won't to waste my life if I'm not happy? All I want is to feel his warmth around me once more, to feel his touch against me. Our bodies connecting. The truth, and this is what keeps me going, is;

Bellamy's not dead.

But he's not alive either.


	27. Chapter 27

_(A/N - Sorry I haven't updated in forever, I was struggling to carry it on but now I've got a great story line so I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it!) _

"Miss Griffin, it's been a week, please eat something. You have to eat." I try to block out the voice of the guard, it seems that every time he speaks a new kind of sadness hits me. You know sometimes when something horrible has just happened in your life and you're standing at the edge of the cliff. Of course you just want to run away from the cliff and the sadness but when people try to sooth you or make you feel happier. They end up pushing you off, just like that, you snap. Right now I'm 2cm from the cliff's edge and every time someone mentions _his _name, or tries to make _me _eat or sleep or do some physical activity apart from stare. I'm a step closer to breaking.

"I don't want your pity." I state angrily.

"Ea-."

Suddenly, I just snapped. "Leave me alone! You have no idea what pain I'm in! It's your fault he's dead! Your fault! I HATE YOU! Just leave me alone and let me die!" I fall to the ground in tears, as if my legs have just given up on me, like I gave up on believing Bellamy was alive. I gave up on him like you fall asleep, slowly then all at once. I watch sternly as the guard leaves the room, I can't do his without Bellamy, it's impossible. But I know one thing, I have to get out of this hell hole. I don't know how I can do it without _him_, but he would at least want me to try.

I push myself to stand and I look around the white room, I place my fingers on the wall and trace all the straight lines. Thinking of a plan to get back to camp. Looking up, I see an air vent, and an idea pops into my head. Yet next to the air vent is a security camera, spying at my every move. I search around the room to find something long and thin. There's this long, thin pole attacked to the end of the bed and I sprint to it and tug it from the bed. Finally, the bed gives up and I whack the pole into the security camera, which shatters to the ground in failure. The air vent is in the middle of the room and too high for me to reach on my own, so I try to spot something for me to move and use as a step up. Oddly, there's this lonely chair in the corner of the room, I stride towards it and scrap it toward the middle of the room, accurately under the vent. Standing on the wobbly chair, I try to get myself balanced before trying to open the vent. I have to admit the Mountain Men weren't as stupid as I though putting an air vent in the room as it's securely locked. I push, pull and shove the vent but it won't budge. The gaps in between aren't too skinny, so I squeeze my left hand through to feel around for a lock of some sort. But I feel nothing, then I can hear the calls of some guards – they know about the smashed security camera. Trying to pull my left hand out, it seems to of suddenly grown bigger as it doesn't seem to come out. I silently curse as the guards voices start to become clearer and clearer. Suddenly, I lose my balance and the chair falls to the ground and I'm just left there hanging by my hand. I bite my lounge to stop myself from screaming and yelping in my pain. The vent bars seem to be digging into my wrist and I grit my teeth, my hand seems to be twisting out of place and I'm prepared to hear a bone crack. There's a sudden clank and I crash to the ground, my left hand is all bruised and floppy, I swallow my sick and I look up to see the vent cover wasn't there anymore, instead it was broken on the ground. The guards are so close so I try to stand up but my left hand is useless. I have to use my upper body strength (I have none) to pull myself up. Once I'm up I grab the air vent cover and the chair. Standing it up right, I climb onto it. I throw the vent into the hole before trying to jump in myself. Sadly, it's extremely hard to do so, I suck on my cheeks as I accidentally squash my left hand under my stomach as I wriggle my way into the vent. I take a huge gulp of air before hearing the cell door unlock, I grab the vent cover and place it over the hole, and I try to stuff it into its holes given to make sure it's hard for the guards to follow me.

Once the guards are in the room, I'm already crawling as quietly and efficiently as I can down the air vent. I've never really been claustrophobic since I lived in space but lately, I've hated small spaces and this one was definitely not one of my favourites. I take deep breaths as I crawl faster and faster, trying as best as I can to not notice my deformed hand. I keep going. The vent seems to be never ending and I curse through my teeth, I suddenly stop and take another breath. Trying to take in what's been happening. _He's dead! _I start to cry and hit the vent as hard as I can in anger, not stopping and I swear I actually made a dent but I can't tell because I'm falling and once I hit the hard ground, I cry a little bit more. The vent couldn't handle me. I blink a few times to figure out where I am but after standing up, I realise I'm in another white room full of bodies. _DEAD _bodies. I place my hand around my mouth to stop myself from gagging. I keep walking around and looking at the bloody bodies covered in a plastic sheet. I think I recognize a ring and I double tack to prey I was mistaken, but sadly I'm not. I take a few more steps toward the body and I look at the hand dropping from the cover. I can't see the face but I think I know who it belongs too. The ring was something Bellamy always wore, it was something his mother gave him before she was floated. I take his hand in mine and cry, I shake the hand to see if he has any life left in him. If my tiny bit of hope was right. That I could save him and we could escape together, hand in hand. I gasp and let the hand go.

The hand just falls_ lifelessly _back to the side.


	28. Chapter 28

I want to scream.

And cry and sob and then scream some more. But that would give away my cover and I don't think me crying in the corner will make the situation any better.

I try to ignore _the _hand as I look around the room for a good exit route. There is a door but I', guessing it's locked from the outside, so that will never work. I can't reach the air vent and I don't want to go in there ever again. There's a window in the right left corner, I run over to it and try to pry it open but annoyingly it won't budge. I start bashing my good hand on it with all my weight. As hard as I can to bust it open.

"What are you doing in here?" I turn around to see a lady dressed in a white lab coat and her hair tied back in a high pony-tale. Her glasses seemed nice and new but if you looked closely enough you could see the tiny bit of tape holding the middle together.

I stutter, not knowing what to say.

"I said, what are you doing here?" She crosses her arms in an impatient manner.

A part of me wants to beg and plead for her not to tell I was here but that was the old me, now I'm the badass, strong, natural born-leader Clarke. I have to stand up for myself.

"Looking for an exit." I state, slowly making my way to the door.

"Well you won't find one in the north area of Mount Weather." She informs me, yet I don't trust her. Not one bit.

"Where is the exit?" I pester.

"Follow me and I'll show you." She makes her way to the door and gestures me to follow her. I gulp. If I go out there I know everyone will recognize me and then I'll be screwed. I can't trust this lady, she works in this torture chamber. But I try to play it cool.

"Okay." Taking me first step into the echoing corridors of Mount Weather, I turn back to Bellamy's body, and I mouth 'I love you'. Even though I know he will never hear me say those words again.

The nurse doesn't seem to want to talk and neither do I, we just walk in silence. Looking around I see other unlucky patients being tested on. And sometimes I do wonder who else is here, obviously, Bellamy and Monty are but I've never seen anyone else. Maybe they're alive out there or they died in battle, I truly hope the former.

I know that this nurse walking me to the exit is unbelievable but I have a plan and she just fitted perfectly. I feel like we've been walking for miles, when we suddenly turn a sharp corner and there is a door leading to dark stairs.

"Is this really the exit?" I ask her.

"Of course." She gestures for me to go first but I refuse. "Fine, I'll go first."

I quickly look around the corridor in case anyone is here to witness what I'm about to do. I follow the nurse down the steps until about half way.

"So, the exit is just round the corner to your left-." Before I realise what I've done, I have just kicked her in the back and she's stumbled down the stairs, hitting her head a lot on the way. I turn and sprint back up the steps, the corridors were empty so I started running. I don't know where I'm running but I keep going. I didn't feel bad, these people _tortured _me. These people _tortured _Bellamy. These people _murdered_ him! I had to do this.

Suddenly, a siren rang, which meant that they were coming. I look around for some sort of get away and I see an open door at the bottom of the corridor. I sprint with all my might towards it, my broken wrist flapping at the end of my arm. Finally, I get to the door, I peer inside to see a young looking man hooked up to a computer typing away, headphones in his ears. There's a ladder at the corner of the room, leading somewhere up high. Sadly, the only way I was going to get to it was to distract the adolescent. The guard's footsteps were louder and louder and I had no idea how to distract the boy, so I grabbed the sharpest thing I could find, I tip-toed behind the boy. I place my hand on his shoulder, lightly, and get the sharp item and scrap it across his neck. I close my eyes and look away as he falls onto his desk, blood flowing out of his neck. I should feel bad but he's one of them, how could I feel sorry for him? I rush to the ladder and climb up it. The ladder keeps going up and I follow it, for what seems like ages.

Eventually, I reach the end, which is like in a very un-modern attic type thing. I rest my broken wrist as I stumble to the attic floor. Taking in large breaths, there's a huge window and then I realise how high up am and I try to look around for an exit but then I see the tons of Mountain Men, standing there with guns in their hands.

"Prisoner 98, come with us now or we'll have to shoot you on the spot." One of the guards tells me.

I feel like I should give up but how can I? After everything I've done to get to this spot. I really don't care if they shoot me but I have to try to do something.

"Prisoner 98-."

"Okay, okay, I'm coming." I interrupt him, two guards start trudging towards me but before they get to me, I kick one of them. "Screw you!" I shout before leaping into the glass window and it shatters to as my body pushes through it. I can hear the gun shots that miss me and suddenly, I hit the ground. The force so painful, I feel like I'm dead. I look around and I've landed in the water. Which has a strong tide, then I realise.

I'm free.


	29. Chapter 29

I grasp the air tightly in my lungs, savouring each breath in case it's my last. My head throbs and I'm bleeding in my back where I hit the water with lots of pressure. Honestly, I didn't believe that I would make it to shore alive and yet I have, well barely. As I try to stand I see my broken wrist has become a big black, brown and purple bruise and feels so weak and fragile. I grit my teeth as I force myself to walk, my legs screaming every time they hit the ground. I take deep breaths as I continue, I'm heading towards the drop ship, praying along the way that my people will be there. I know they were at the beach when the Mountain Men came but I just have to have faith that they came back home. Hopefully, not all of us were captured, I didn't see many of our people at Mount Weather.

I recognize were I'm heading but I'm so doubtful that I can actually make it, my head is banging, my legs are shaking and my wrist burns. I'm expecting to just fall to the ground in defeat at any moment. To me the ground seems wonky and rigid, tree roots sticking from the soft land, ready to trip me up. I have to be extra careful in where I am stepping. Falling over and becoming unconscious will make it easier for the Mountain Men of hell to find me and take me back and that's the last thing I want. Pushing myself is the cruellest and hardest part of this journey, determination has to beat the pain. If it doesn't I'll fail my people, myself and Bellamy.

Suddenly, my vison becomes blurry and I feel a little woozy. My steps become wobbly as I go closer to the tress to keep my balance. My breaths start to become slower and slower and then this long root comes out of nowhere. I trip. I fall. Tears start trickling down my cheeks, I couldn't give up! I need to get to the drop ship. I need to get home. My eyes start to flutter until my vision is all black.

"Clarke, can you hear me?" A voice asks me.

My eyes slowly open before they adjust to the bright light.

At first I think I've been captured by the Mountain Men, so I jump. "Get off me! Let me go!" I scream.

"Calm down, it's only me. You're safe now." The voice tells me.

I look up to where the voice is coming from and I see Raven. "Raven?" I ask.

"Yeah, it's me Clarke." She smiles, I un tense my body and take a huge sigh in relief.

"I thought you were the Mountain Men." I admit.

"What do you mean Mountain Men, it wasn't the grounders that took you?" She asks.

"No! The Mountain Men did, I don't know how many of our people are out there. Where am I?"

"You're home." Raven exclaims, I want to smile but I feel like them mud has moulded my frown into place. "Murphy and Sam found you unconscious in the woods, they brought you back home."

"How come you made it out?" I ask, curiosity taking over me.

"After the grounder attack, some of us were able to get out in time. But we couldn't save the rest of you." Raven puts her hand on my shoulder which makes me shiver.

"Clarke's back?" A high-pitched runs in the drop ship. "Clarke." Octavia smiles, she walks over and hugs me tightly. "Is Bellamy with you?"

I suddenly feel like a dagger has been stabbed millions of times in my heart. A sad sob escapes my mouth. "Bellamy." I take a deep breath but the tears start trickling down my face. "They murdered him." I wipe the tears from my eyes. "And I couldn't save him." I state, Octavia gasps and starts weeping. "I'm sorry." I tell them before sprinting outside the camp. All of a sudden it doesn't feel like home anymore. I fall to a tree and I just ooze out tears, clutching my heart at the pain I feel.

"Clarke, it's okay. It's not your fault." I look up to see who has the nerve to bother me and I look at him in disgust. Murphy.

"Why do you care?" I spit at him.

"Because seeing you sad, makes me sad." He exclaims.

I laugh sarcastically before turning to face him. "I'm not in the mood for a laugh Murphy."

Murphy wraps his arms around me and I'm surprised.

"Get the hell of me!" I scream and push him off. "You sexual assaulted me _Murphy._ What makes you think you can put your disgusting hands on me!" No answer. "Just leave me alone and let me be murdered by the guilt by myself!" I turn away, and wrap my hand around my mouth to make my crying silent.

"Clarke." Murphy says.

"What?" I snap, but I already know the answer when he has his arms wrapped around me. I don't like it. But I don't retreat from it.


End file.
